Peace

Some thoughts take off elegantly and enthusiastically into the bright and blue sky and your spirit soars along, with a song on its lips.

Some thoughts, meanwhile, speedily slide down into a dark and endless abyss and drag your spirit down even as it resists and trips.

To silently watch both with stoic equanimity and see that they both are equally unreal is what works, as 'spirituality' often quips. 

To Believe or Not to Believe

Buddha is quoted thus: "Don't believe everything you read". Abraham Lincoln also apparently warned people to not believe everything on the Internet. I don't know; Lincoln was the one quoted in that poster I saw on the Internet. 

Logically speaking, how could we anyway believe everything we read? Just when you had permanently concluded that laughter is good for health, some researchers come out of their isolated offices and tell you that your organs might get ruptured or displaced if you laugh too much. 

Just when you were sure that deep introspection is what might make you a better human being, some psychologists warn you about the side effects of deep thinking. Who wants to be a better human being but, at the same time, slightly insane? (Makes you wonder how they arrived at such a conclusion without thinking too much). 

Not a single so-called Universal truth is left untouched or unchallenged. There are many ways to use rational thoughts to either construct or destroy the same case. People, meanwhile, simply choose what they want to believe and ignore everything else. 

What next? We must simply wait for Mark Twain to tell us (via the Internet, of course) to start believing everything we read. That way, we'll take ourselves less seriously and life will be a lot more fun. 

Restlessness

The spirit that often wants to break free

Amidst its ignorance of what will be

The determination to find the energy to soar 

The desire to breakthrough the silence and roar

Almost the entire world yet to explore

Piled up and untouched ideas galore 

Even as one sees the intense human spirit flow and grow

The heart of every cell wishes for peace to lend its glow

How a Good Person Can Really Win - A Book Review

Book Review: Pavan Choudary’s “How A Good Person Can Really Win”

I enjoy reading genuine self-help books that combine inspiring thoughts with compelling and actionable approaches, ideas and tips. A visit to a well-stocked book shop will prove to you that there is no dearth of books in the self-help section. But as a devoted pursuer of books, I think there are a few things to be wary of.

Depending on the phase of life you are in, your view of life in general and preferred approaches to dealing with its challenges, some books stimulate your thoughts and coax you into taking positive action while some other books are, at best, boring or misleading. Before you impulsively purchase a book, you need to relax, sit down, flip through the book, connect with its theme, structure and ideas. You also need to check if the writing style of the author appeals to your subconscious before you pick it up and rely on it to change your life. 

Well, for a change, I did not have to do any of this to read "How a Good Person Can Really Win" (HGPCRW). The book found me via my blog. To start with, I feel quite lucky about it. 

HGPCRW is not a book that one reads, feels good about and forgets. Nor is it a book that gives you something on the lines of a DIY (do it yourself) kit that you build and reuse everywhere. I think it is a book that you need to keep on your table and refer to regularly. It has plenty of interesting and thought-provoking stories and snippets that one cannot read once and absorb forever. It is a 'situational' book; a book that will give you something to ponder over in many important situations that you may find yourself in. 

The book is split into three parts and the author has done some excellent and appropriate anecdotal research for each of these sections. Part 1 outlines the characteristics of people who resort to vile-like qualities characters. Part 2 unveils advice for the naive and is focused on specific situations. Part 3 gives the reader a set of powerful values to derive inspiration from.

Part 1, to me, was interesting and somewhat like reading the Politics and Page 3 sections of the newspaper. :-) It also made me wonder if normally good-natured people would resort to any of the vile-like methods when under severe pressure. When I moved on to Part 2, I was excited and intrigued by the stories and the anecdotes. Some situations were so familiar that I found myself grinning and reading the insights with gratitude. Part 3 seemed shorter than the other two parts but was a fascinating read because it was packed with concise and powerful ideas. 

In a nut shell, I think this book will be a reliable "guide" that can be approached for advice during difficult situations. The insights will, I think, fascinate and appeal to many a mind.

Disclaimer: The publishers offered me the book for a review. However, the review is a pure reflection of my own experiences and thoughts and not influenced by any external entities. 

Perception

When you remind yourself every day that others may never ever see things from your perspective, you grow more tolerant and self-reliant. 

When you remind yourself every day that you may never ever see things from others' perspective, you grow more compassionate and learn to leave them alone.

Quotes

Here are four brilliant quotes that I came across recently and found to be thought-provoking. 


All cruelty springs from weakness. ~ Seneca


Notes: The next time you come across a person who seems to be cruel, see if you can possibly discover the weakness behind it...and address that!


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There is one path for the fleer, many for the seeker. - Marathi proverb


Notes: Seek. Seek. Seek. Never ever give up.

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Between what I think, 

What I want to say,

What I believe I’m saying,

What I say,

What you want to hear,

What you hear,

What you believe you understand,

What you want to understand,

And what you understood,

There are at least nine possibilities of misunderstanding.

- French Jurist Francois Garagnon




Notes: If we believe and understand this, we may trust more people around us.


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Warning: A Wandering Mind

How does one deal with the paradox of “be yourself” and “adjust” (the famous term that used to be associated with Bangalore and its people before the former became a cosmopolitan city) at the same time? In the long run, is happiness a consequence of listening to your heart and doing things your way or “adjusting” with what is? What if the situation you are in involves entities outside of your well thought-out and deeply absorbed (or prejudiced) value-system or communication model or something else equally important? Is it okay to kill a little part of you – in a virtual sense - and adapt yourself to the situation while pretending to align with it even if you are not perhaps really doing so? Is it okay to live with the attitude that you may, after-all, change or things will change or, well, you can change things somewhere down the path? Does it make more sense to be practical and result-oriented rather than attach yourself to a subconsciously acquired (some of it may be natural, if genetic causes can be labeled as natural) value-system (or communication model or…..)? Or, more alarmingly, how do you know it is not your ego that wears a clever disguise and convinces you to be the way you are?

An episode involving the ethics of a social worker triggered me off to muse about the identity of the so-called “truth” and the validity of a black and white world as opposed to a grayish world. I then attempted to see it from the perspective of the Mahabharatha, when a brave woman I know responded and declared that Sri Krishna may have won the war for the Pandavas by deceit but he achieved his goal (justifiable to some and not so justifiable to others) he set out to achieve and that is all, perhaps, that mattered. Outsiders, she said, only watch and debate his methods. How do you blend your thinking and action? If Sri Krishna is the answer to today’s ruthless, ambiguous and vague world, then what is the importance of the unquestioned obedience and love that Lord Rama is identified with? Go ahead. Share your wisdom. Some of you are capable of running a correspondence course on the human psychology in the context of relationships/communities, like the Master might say! ;-)  

The sum of divinity

The serenity of Buddha's face. The compassion & forgiveness in Jesus's arms.  The wisdom in Krishna's words.  The sum of divinity. 

Thoughtful Moments

A few of my own thoughtful twitter moments today 


How can love & forgiveness exist where there is a tendency to constantly observe, analyze, assume & judge?


Sharing is the Mother and Curiosity the Father of Serendipity. #inspired_moment


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An inspiring post by Sudhir Krishnan that I came across this morning (and this post happens to be somewhat related to my first thought)

Inspirations by Sudhir Krishnan

However noble your thoughts and actions, there will be some people who will not be pleased. Even Jesus and Buddha faced opposition. While one needs to take care not to deliberately hurt others, there is always the possibility of falling short of some people's expectations. As long as you have given your best, move on and do not blame yourself. Detach yourself from what is essentially the other person's karma.

Spirituality

Throughout the journey from birth to death, many people choose to question life, strive for improvement, seek out knowledge, and search for the divine. Simply put, this is the essence of spirituality. - Daily Om


- Thought I'd put this up here because a lot of people have misconceptions regarding what spirituality means. Some people laugh when spirituality and religion are separated because they believe there is no difference between the two. Spirituality encompasses all religions and creates a cumulative list of values (as opposed to rituals) to pursue. 

Siddhartha

I read the insightful story (fictional) of a man who lived during the Buddha's time and dared to go in search of life, wisdom and purpose on his own despite meeting the Buddha. It is the story of a man who walks his own path to enlightenment. The author of the story does a compelling job of conveying his own insights about life through the man's story. The man is named after the Buddha, as Siddhartha. The book is also called 'Siddhartha' and the author is Hermann Hesse. Now, you know.  

Source: Wikipedia

1) Siddhartha learns his own lessons by doing things in his own unique way and not by following anyone else's teachings or thoughts


2)He realizes that someone who is obsessed with the act of searching for something may actually not find what he is looking for because he may be so lost in the search itself that he cannot see what is in front of him (he misses the thing that he is looking for even when it is in front of him because he is still looking!) > This one is profound! 


3)He concludes that wisdom cannot be shared. Only knowledge can be shared.  


4)Only towards the end of his life does he understand the bliss of flowing along with life, like a river. He understands that he must be a part of everything that life brings to him. He must be the same through ups and downs, and twists and turns though there may be no such thing as good or bad. He sees that the river is what it is throughout its course irrespective of obstacles. It gets past rocks because of its flexibility and acceptance. 


5)He also learns from the river that listening is one of the most essential skills for leading a blissful life, because listening means learning


6)He realizes that life allowed him to learn things on his own and he had to accept that for his son as well. The special lesson for parents is that they cannot and should not try to control or determine their children's destinies. Every child will have to chart his or her own path and should be allowed to experience his/her destiny without unwarranted interruptions


7)An almost direct recommendation that the author makes is that of the "Om" meditation. During many instances in the story, Siddhartha recovers from inappropriate moments including a suicidal one by repeating the term "Om" until he magically begins to see the 'light'

Temples

The debate on the differences between Religion and Spirituality is an old one and perhaps one that does not actually satisfy either - debating - parties completely.  


Nevertheless, here is what occurred to me.


Religion is keeping track of the number (and type/popularity/specialty) of temples one visits. Spirituality is not having to keep track of the number of times one drives others to the temple (looking for peace of mind, that is). ;-) 

Ping-Pong

Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson (C). Source: gocomics.com

I have picked up three important articles that struck a chord in the last three weeks. It has absolutely nothing to do with the C&H strip above...except perhaps that Calvin is also convinced that he has what it takes (albeit the wrong skills) to do what he wants.

1. Change yourself. Find your own mistakes first. Become more patient, accommodating, forgiving, understanding and what not. The easiest thing to change is yourself, not others. Never ever give up. It's ok to pursue efficiency, knowledge, excellence and the rest but that's your personal choice and chase, not others' pursuit.

2. Do not "take" whatever comes to you. Learn to send back the things that don't belong to you, things that you don't deserve. Free yourself of other people's baggage and burden. You do not have to defend yourself every day of your life.

3. Unconditional love exists but only within yourself. Learn to like (and forgive, as appropriate) yourself rather than expecting other people to know you and your 'wonderful' qualities. Focus on your talents and allowing them to bloom rather than wasting time in expecting others to give you room.

Know Thyself

Just been reading this fascinating research paper (thanks to Zephy for the pointer). 

Know Thyself and Become What You Are: A Eudaimonic Approach to Psychological Well-Being by Carol D. Ryff and Burton H. Singer.

The paper isn't really as intimidating and esoteric as you might imagine it to be at first (based on the Title). Once I started reading it, I was excited and wanted to read on till the end.   

The paper explores and studies various thought-leaders' writings on the highest human good which, according to the authors, Aristotle equated to happiness (activity of the soul in accordance with virtue). The authors go on to say virtue may be different for different people but Aristotle thought it was be the ability to be intermediate (moderated behaviour). Virtue, he stated, "is the state of character concerned with choice in which deliberate actions are taken to avoid excess or deficiency". (Nice....reminds me of Buddhist principles)

Extracts: 

"The excellence of the human being is thus going to be associated with growth towards some final realization of his or her true and best nature"

"For (Bertrand) Russell, happiness depended most importantly on 'zest', by which he meant having active interest and engagement in life, and by 'affection', by which he meant having meaningful bonds of love with significant others."

"Eudaimonic well-being is linked with better neuroendocrine regulation, better immune function, lower cardiovascular risk, better sleep and more adaptive neural circuitry" 

The authors find that the three key things in life that helps people be genuinely happy are Personal Growth, Purpose in life and Positive relations with significant others. The interesting thing is that women rate positive relations higher on the happiness scale while men replace that with autonomy. Two other contributors to the happiness recipe are, understandably, self-acceptance and environmental mastery.

Lots of food for thought in the paper!

Tranquility Doesn't Exist

Have you ever felt that the need for tranquility - in today's world - is actually more than the need for happiness? Happiness is indeed within and can be tapped into by doing and thinking the "right" things. Isn't tranquility, on the other hand, based on what's happening "outside" even as you happen to be looking inward?


A pond that's left to its natural state deals with its moss, sharks, weeds, reflections, and what not. It can remain happy AND tranquil despite the weeds, the mud underneath and its other natural challenges. But what happens when there are external disturbances like someone throwing a stone and causing unnecessary interruptions (the ripples and the noise)? It can still choose to be happy and find happiness within but there is no denying the fact that - in reality - there is no tranquility. Happiness is possible but Tranquility seems like an unachievable goal.....even worse, happiness that is achieved without tranquility in the outside world almost seems artificial. Frightening. 

Source: Google Images

The Power of Faith

"When you come to end of all the light you know and its time to step into the darkness of the unknown. Faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen. Either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught to fly."-Edward Teller.

Spiritual Animals

Trust me. I love Donkeys. I generally stop on my tracks and watch them if I happen to spot them (which rarely happens in Bangalore). I am of the belief that they are truly innocent, patient and cute. So, when I was reading a book (borrowed from a friend) called Fragrance of Life (on Life and Spirituality by a South Indian spiritual thought leader, Sri Ram) and came across a chapter that positioned Donkeys as spiritual beings because they drip with innocence and are amazingly patient, it resonated with me.    

Google Images

Talking of spiritual animals, don't you think the other extremely spiritual animal is perhaps the Camel? Don't Camels have a permanent smile on their faces? :-) 

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Manipulative Machiavelli or Straightforward Sam?

I am extremely tired of people who are manipulative, those who love playing mind games and aim to be a scheming Machiavelli who can easily deceive everyone else into doing whatever they want them to do. This may seem counter-intuitive to many but I strongly believe that, in the long run, the ones who are better off are the ones who are honest and straightforward (but polite and kind) in their communication. So, this article strikes a nice chord.


Source: DailyOm.com (Emphasis Mine)


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The Power of Disengagement

Rather than being heart based, some have learned to play mind games or go on power trips in the service of their ego.
For better or worse, many people have been raised to believe that communicating in an honest and open way will not get them what they want. They have learned, instead, to play mind games or go on power trips in the service of their ego’s agenda. People stuck in this outmoded and inefficient style of communication can be trying at best and downright destructive at worst. We may get caught up in thinking we have to play the same games in order to defend ourselves, but that will only lead us deeper into confusion and conflict. The best way to handle people like this is to be clear and honest with them. 

As with all relationships and situations in our lives, we must look within for both the source of our difficulties and the solution. Reacting to the situation by getting upset will only entrench us more deeply in the undesirable relationship. Only by disengaging, becoming still, and going within can we begin to see what has hooked us into the mess in the first place. We will most likely find unprocessed emotions that we can finally fully feel and release into the stillness we find in meditation. The more we are able to do this, the less we will be bothered by the other person’s dramas and the more we will be free to respond in a new way. In the light of our new awareness, the situation will untangle itself and we will slowly break free. 

Whenever people come into our lives, they have come for a reason, to show us something about ourselves that we have not been able to see. When unhealthy people try to hook us into their patterns with mind games and power trips, we can remind ourselves that we have something to learn here and that a part of us is calling out for healing. This takes the focus off the troubling individual and puts it back on us, giving us the opportunity to change the situation from the inside out. 

A few minutes back, I bumped again into a poem that moved me immensely when I had first read it - which was probably many years before I started blogging. My first thought was to save it on the blog and share it with those of you who may have not seen it. 


People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.            
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.


- Mother Theresa 

Conscience - Switch it ON Please

Some people happily disown their conscience and push it into the poorest of orphanages, eh? What is it that is so difficult about admitting mistakes, taking charge of your responsibilities, and being true to yourself? What makes a human conscience disappear in the first place? Is it parenting, schooling (or lack of it), how we respond to the world we see when we 'arrive' and establish a shaky foot-hold, or just the lack of a good soul for reasons beyond our understanding?

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