Being Human

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming." - Anonymous > Think about it if you happen to be a leader, parent, teacher or mentor! 

Individual Destiny

The world is full of wonder. There are endless opportunities. There is a lot more we can do if only we don't focus so much on financial safety (or is it mostly greed?) all the time. Parents & teachers must try hard not to narrow their child's vision and lead him/her to where *they* think the treasure is. There's so much yet to be discovered. There's so much yet to be done. There are so many new and unexplored ideas and paths. 


Why create an unnecessarily competitive world that focuses on what everybody else wants to focus on, loses track of true humanity, chases something blindly and knows not what meaning there is to life? Why can't we each choose our own niche areas and complement and collaborate with each other to build a rich, meaningful, creative, cooperative, happy and sustainable world? 


Enough of the 'mass production' of individuals who think and work alike and chase the same things without believing in it. We need to preserve the uniqueness in each of us and celebrate that for life. We need to seek what fits us as individuals and learn to ignore many of the things that the world, for some strange reason, thinks is essential to lead a good life. 


Is the urban man who eats exotic and exquisite food once a week and commutes in an expensive car necessarily happier than the rural man who eats a simple meal of rice and vegetable all through the year and spends time relaxing in the natural breeze from the magnificent trees he has planted? Aren't they both happy as long as they leverage on their skills and ideas, identify and pursue a cause and vision that is important and meaningful to them and continuously expand their capacity to think, learn and act?

Children can Fly

Excellent quotes on parenting:


Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born in another time. -Chinese Proverb


There are two things children should get from their parents: roots and wings - Goethe

Learning and The Dangers of Expertise

This talk provides good food for thought. Do watch it if you're interested in KM, Collaboration or Learning. The speaker warns us about the dangers of blindly believing so-called experts and not questioning them enough and about societies having to feel more comfortable about managing dissent. 


Someone from the audience asks a very valid question - About the impact that this might have on how we teach children. Here's what methinks:


Maybe this points to a clear need for collective learning amongst children? Rather than a teacher standing up in front of the class and preaching? And of course, the need for education to accommodate questions from students, Montessori style.


And, finally, consider this post in juxtaposition with the previous C&H strip. See the joke? :-)

Vulnerability

I must say this video is overwhelming and leaves me almost speechless. It has an amazing mix of insights that are both affirmative as well as challenging. I am afraid it is not as easy to understand as it seems. I believe there are many more dots that the viewer/audience will have to connect to be able to see a clearer and more personal picture. Obviously, it took Brown years of research, struggle and introspection to arrive here. Between the 18th and 19th minute is perhaps one of the most critical aspects related to Parenting.

One of the Best

Awesome strip this. The concept, the pictures, the expressions and all that sort of thing. What would we do without C&H to cheer us up when everything else in life seems a bit - temporarily, given that we are all optimists in the long run - dismal? Uh?

Source: gocomics.com

Individuality, Freedom, Human Potential

I am extremely passionate about the subject of parenting and believe it is a very critical thing to be understood and practiced if we are looking to ensure a wonderful future for our world. (Children, after all, are the future of this world). I also associate this topic with nurturing one's individuality, fulfilling one's mission and potential and, finally, leading a happy and peaceful life. Parents who do not understand any of this are hampering a growing human's individuality, freedom and potential. So, it is not surprising that I like this post from DailyOm, on parenting. 




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Living for Ourselves
Trying to Please Others

We don't need to live seeking approval from our parents or others; this can be overcome no matter what your age.

Most of us come to a point in our lives when we question why we are doing what we are doing, and many of us come to realize that we may be living our lives in an effort to make our parents happy. This realization can dawn when we are in our 20s, our 40s, or even later, depending upon how tight a hold our family of origin has on our psyche. We may feel shocked or depressed by this information, but we can trust that it is coming to us at this time because we are ready to find out what it would mean to live our lives for ourselves, following the call of our own soul, and refusing any longer to be beholden to someone else’s expectations. 

One of the most common reasons we are so tied into making our parents, or others, happy, is that we were not properly mirrored when we were children. We were not honored as individuals in our own right, with a will and purpose of our own, to be determined by our own unfolding. As a result, we learned to look outside of ourselves for approval, support, and direction rather than look within. The good news is that the part of us that was not adequately nurtured is still there, inside us, like a seed that has not yet received the sunlight and moisture it needs to open and to allow its inner contents to unfurl. It is never too late to provide ourselves with what we need to awaken this inner being. 


There are many ways to create a safe container for ourselves so that we can turn within and shine the light of awareness there. We may join a support group, go to therapy, or start a practice of journaling every day for half an hour. This experience of becoming is well worth the difficult work that may be required of us to get there. In whatever process we choose, we may feel worse before we feel better, but we will ultimately find out how to live our lives for ourselves and how to make ourselves happy.


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If you have any experiences to share, please do leave a comment. I'd be thrilled to share this post and the comments with people who need to understand this.

C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N

This post occurred to me out of the blue. Funnily enough, I am even unable to recall whether it came to me when I was about to drowse off yesterday night or this morning when I was trying to sit still for a while. Parenting is a topic that is very close to my heart and I believe if we focus on and know how to bring up children and (as a result) every family in the nation is a happy family, it might be the end of most problems our society faces today. 

Google Images

C - Coach the child (Being a coach is not the same thing as being a teacher)


H - Help when you're needed or Hold her hand as she walks her path


I - Inspire the child through your own actions and through other mediums like books, stories etc


L - Love the child irrespective of her flaws and faults. Laugh (share humorous moments) with the child as often as possible. 


D - Demonstrate things rather than just resorting to rhetoric (very stale piece of advice in parenting)

Google Images

R - Reward and Recognize the child appropriately (drawing a balance between over-rewarding and under-rewarding may be extremely difficult)


E - rElease the child from your grip and let her lead her own life except in situations that need you to be protective 


N - Nudge the child when nothing else works (Use tactics that are provoking but subtle. Note that Nudging is very different from Pushing or Forcing). But DO NOT Judge the child! As Mother Theresa said, where there is judgement, there can be no place for love (not reproduced verbatim)




I love acronyms or rather actual words that are given the form of an acronym. More often than not, I believe it is possible to creatively expand actual words into alphabetical pieces that make meaning independently and then as a whole. I have no idea what this technique is called (I'm sure someone must have coined a term for it) but I love it as it is one of the best ways to remember things.

Google Images

Parent - No Ideas for Rent

One of the most important things a parent can perhaps coach the child on is to not find comfort in someone else's agreement/approval but to go in search of her own mind.....in search of her own version of the truth and enjoy a 'personal' learning experience.

Back in Circulation

Usually, when I am back after a break/vacation, I tend to be slightly jittery for the first few days just thinking about the tons of emails and work that I need to catch up with. Life is brutal to people who go on vacations. Isn't it? Makes me wonder if it is ever possible to 'invent' a vacation on returning from which one has nothing to catch up with. Or perhaps a vacation that one doesn't have to return from....err, I mean to the business of catching up and the like. I am not sure I've made myself crystal clear. So here we go again. What I actually mean is why not have a vacation that's sort of permanent and so enlightening that one either manages to drift along without any catching up to do later on or whatever? If you go on a vacation to recharge your batteries and come back only to let them be drained in no time just seeing the pending pile of emails and other such things, what's the big deal? I'm just making up for not being able to ramble last week. Ignore me.

While on the topic of vacations and catching up, have you noticed? When you come back to see what has changed with the world, you are, more often than not, likely to be staring at a situation wherein every single thing (that you are not so interested in but will however have to catch up with) except what you really, desperately, wanted to see some progress in, has progressed at a phenomenal rate. Sigh. I told you. Life is brutal to people who go on vacations. 

But when one gets to read a hilarious and yet thoughtful cartoon strip by one's favourite cartoonist amidst the tons of other - mostly boring - emails waiting to be read, the act of think-laughing or laugh-thinking (Yikes, the term doesn't sound so creative. Reminds me of something to do with fixing erroneous machines) releases all or most of the tension and puts the ugly smile back in its place. Eh? So, here we are. Ugly. Smiling. And All.

Pic: Gocomics: Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson

Human Evolution

Another mesmerizing article shared by @Kirti.
I'm taking a print out and putting it along with my most treasured books in my book-shelf!


Not providing you with extracts as yet. Plan to re-read it a few times.
You must read the entire article to experience the knowledge.


Goes a long way to prove the impact of parenting and environment on children and human development as a whole!

The Force of Freedom

Image Source: Google Images: http://empxtrack.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/freedom.jpg

Freedom is the ink in the mighty pen,
With which we write the story of our lives.
The quality and flow of the ink is often,
Compromised for something unequal, however nice.
Some of us sacrifice it at the altar of holy trust,
At our own paranoid mind's behest,
And then are shocked by self-inflicted ruin,
And wonder endlessly as to why we did not, in life, win!

Were we to think about what we gained, in retrospect,
The trust we apparently gained minus the freedom we lost,
Is an equation that is unquestionably equal to naught.
We'd also ponder over whether trust can ever be bought,
And if better than freedom can anything ever be sought!
For freedom is, arguably, the primary source of thought.

Freedom is the Father of happiness, scarce.
Freedom is the Mentor of responsibility, for the one who dares.
Freedom is the Sponsor of the one who learns,
Freedom is the Foundation of life for the one who yearns.
Freedom is the Mother of the muse,
Freedom is a paradox that prevents its own misuse.
Trust is obliged to be nothing more than a strong thread,
That follows freedom and, in a subtle way, allows to be led.

Freedom, when we are born, is up for grabs and totally free,
Till we stupidly make it as expensive as it can ever be.
Parents charge their children an obligatory fee,
Organizations wear it beneath the mask of hierarchy,
Families trade it for their camaraderie.
So, this is a wake-up call to let freedom just be!

Being Yourself....

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think this quote hits the nail on the head. The so-called transformation starts with parenting strategies by the family, goes on to influences at school and then slowly to a lot of obsessed and maddening groups in the society. I'd be surprised if I come across anyone who thinks they have managed to get away untouched by the society! But, yes, the degree of influence varies. I wonder what it really takes to remain oneself when a huge crowd of people are desperately trying to 'chisel' you according to their preferences. The worst of such a situation is when people don't just share their 'perceptions' but emphasize that what they're saying is 'right' while what others are saying is 'wrong'! Education should be about learning to think for ourselves, discovering our own minds and what is 'good' for us. That is probably one of the most fundamental and radical of changes that we need to bring about in our society if each of us is to remain what we 'are'. Life is indeed a paradox that demands we manage ourselves while also managing our relationships with others (whose influences we are, therefore, constantly going to be subjected to).

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Update: @davidgurteen discovered this post and liked it. He spread the word on Twitter and also messaged me on Twitter and pointed me to a related - wonderful -quote that I must add to this post! :-)

Thanks, David! I think this quote must be read and understood by all those who are patronizing.

Children do not need to be made to learn to be better, told what to do or shown how. If they are given access to enough of the world, they will see clearly enough what things are truly important to themselves and to others, and they will make for themselves a better path into that world then anyone else could make for them. - John Holt (American Educator)

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Here's another related post from Luis. (The video is on the lines of what I've dreamed of as 'KM for Schools')

CANTrol....

I think this is extremely sensible advice; especially for parents. From www.dailyom.com

Resisting the Urge to Control
Imposing Your Will On Others

The right to make your own choices is a precious one. We grow when we have the freedom to decide our own paths and determine what makes us happy. Yet there are those who are inclined to try and control others. They may be driven by insecurity, envy, fear, or the need for power. These people are deeply critical of themselves in their own minds, and underlying that critical nature is unhappiness. Their need to feel sure-footed and secure is quenched by controlling those around them, whether they are friends, colleagues, or even pets. However, nearly everyone has found themselves imposing their will upon others at one time or another.

Trying to impose your will on others can be tempting for many reasons. You may feel that your way is the best way or that you have a keener insight into the direction their life should be taking. But, in imposing your will, you are indirectly saying, “I want to control you.” Even when you have the best of intentions, others may end up resenting you for your actions. It is always helpful to remember that it is possible to influence people and change their behavior through education or example without imposing your will on them.

If you’ve caught yourself being a bit bossy on a regular basis, make a note of it. Write down what the situation was and why you acted the way you did. You may have pushed a friend to try something new, because deep inside you wanted to try it yourself but were feeling hesitant. Or you may be unjustly interfering with work teammates, because you aren’t sure of their abilities. Next, make an effort to understand and accept their preferences and ways of doing things. It can feel natural to impose your will when you feel that you “know best.” But there is a freedom to trusting others to find their own methods and joys, even when they might differ from yours. Sometimes the best course of action is to step back and relinquish control. You may, in doing so, see everything from a different point of view.