Principles. Practicality. Pride

I am, um, committing the crime of generalizing things and bucketing them. Wait! You can't warn me because I've warned myself.  But the fact is that I normally think about such things, write down whatever occurs to me and then leave it to my subconscious mind (which is apparently more in tune with the Universe) to apply it only in situations wherein it ought to be . And, note that I don't hang them - my generalizations, I mean - around my neck and make it my primary instrument of perception and interpretation. You'd better believe me ;-)

Righto! All the nonsensical prelude aside, here is what I cooked up as I inhaled what must have been carbon monoxide and watched riders/drivers break rules and jeopardize the lives of many innocent people on the roads at ~8.32 am. There are broadly three kinds of thinking that people engage in while going about their daily decisions. Thoughts that are driven by Principles, Practicality or Pride. (My mind keeps discovering words that alliterate or rhyme when I set out to explain - unnecessarily, of course - various phenomena in the world and I pretend to play along by expanding them into lengthy and meandering paragraphs.)

Coming back to our - ok, my - three categories of thoughts that in turn dictate to decision making, a lot depends on both, people's inherent nature and how they've been nurtured. Parenting (apart from one's individuality), methinks, has a Major (M in caps) impact on whether we are driven predominantly by principles, practicality or pride.

If your Parents thought they were at the far right of the chart of human evolution, gave you less or no room for making mistakes, sermonized at the drop of a hat, did not allow you to break any of the so-called rules, were rarely lenient, were attached to their value-system, culturally sensitive and so on, *and* you lent yourself to all of this or succumbed to it (depending on the way you see it ;-)), you are likely to now be an adult largely driven by principles; mostly those that were conditioned into you by your parents. In certain cases, you may have, of course, added a few self-discovered principles to the list that was thrust down your throat.

The point to note, however, is that if you were a rebel despite your Parents being obsessed with idealistic and rigid rules and approaches, then you may now be an adult driven by pride.

If you were subjected to so-called "smart" and in-touch-with-reality parenting, you are probably an adult driven by practicality. If your Parents' focus was almost always on survival, people-handling tactics and techniques, financial security, materialistic prosperity and the like, you surely grew up seeing yourself as a self-serving cog in the world's chaotic wheel. If you watched your parents sacrifice a few or several ideals and principles in order to obtain results and get to the finishing point in the various races run by society, you are likely to be a person who values practical thinking. You may very well be one of those street-smart adults who rarely gets bogged down by the world's evil ways and, in fact, knows how to get what he wants without creating much of a flutter. You undoubtedly have earned a lot of naive and clueless people's admiration. Sweet-talking, subtle wins in psychological or emotional battles and a certain type of ruthlessness are perhaps your forte.

Brings me to, unarguably, the most meaningless kind of parenting. That which results in children who grow up to pat and pamper their pride every day of their miserable lives. They lose track of logic and have no idea what values are all about. The most important thing happens to be empty egoism and vanity. They are so focused on fulfilling their ego's needs that they neither let the people with principles propose the vision nor let the ones who are practical get things moving or done. Come to think of it, they may not even know why they are doing what they are doing and are so narcissistic that they believe the world exists to serve them. Good luck to them because they must be careful not to kill people on their way to nowhere. O_o

Principle-based thinking more often than not results in condescending curmudgeons. Practical thinking results in ruthless rascals. Pride, ewww, delivers repulsive reptiles. That, my dear friends, is what we, the human race, are all about. Tada. Om Shanti.

A Life of Purpose

I delve into one of my favorite topics - life, purpose and happiness - and hope it strikes a few chords. 

All of us need something that we can focus and spend our energies on, in life. We need our lives to revolve around something or the other, just like how the Earth needs the Sun; simply because we do not feel truly alive if we don't have something to focus on. To use a cliché, we only exist. 

One of the most positive and yet fragile emotions that we can expend our energies on is love. The subject or object of love may be one (or more) of the following: 

(This list is in no particular order and is open for debate. There may be some unavoidable overlaps between a few areas) 

Love for: 

- Conventional work

- Sport & Physical activity 

- God

- Life (Probably through science, art or service) 

- An idea or a concept

- A cause

- Another human being or family or other entities such as animals/plants 

- Mankind as a whole or a specific community or one's country

- Food

- Power or Fame or Money & Luxuries 

- Oneself 

There is no right or wrong.

Meera Bai chose to focus on God. Gandhi chose a cause and a country. Steve Jobs chose an idea. Romeo chose another human being. Einstein chose God and life through science.

Disney chose to focus on life through art. Wodehouse chose life through art. Victor Frankl chose life through service and himself (in an indomitable way). Watterson chose life through art and himself (in an unconventional way). 
Jane Goodall chose a specific community of animals. Aung San Suu Kyi chose a country. Sachin chose a sport. The Dalai Lama chose mankind and a cause. A lot of politicians and businessmen may start with a cause but digress and go into power or money. A lot of actors and movie-makers may start with an idea or life through art but digress into money or fame and so on.   

Each of us gravitates towards one or more items in the list based on our nature, upbringing, influences, circumstances, challenges, skills, early experiences in life and so on. The intensity with which we pursue what we choose varies from person to person. If we focus on a category that we have some control over (with exceptions such as God and Mankind) and one for which we have the necessary skills and wherewithal, we're going to be happy and busy...or happily busy. Simply because we are doing what we love, are good at and have the resources for. The caveat, however, is that if we are excessively obsessed with our chosen 'Sun' and lose our grip over it, we may fall out of our orbit and into a potential catastrophe unless we have the skills to jump on to another appropriate orbit (think lone genius scientists/geeks etc)   

On the other hand, if we don't gravitate towards at least one item in the list, life looks empty and void of any meaning. I suspect no one can exist this way unless (s)he is in a vegetative state. In related news, the common and widely accepted solution to engage ourselves with life and have something to focus on is Marriage. We are, more often than not, guaranteed to have a spouse and/or child(ren) that we will feel motivated to place at the center of our world.     

Let's take a closer look at some of the items in the list.

- Conventional work: This is adrenalin, accomplishment and intelligence based love. An extreme form of "work love"is perhaps entrepreneurship. 

- God: Inexplicable to many and enchanting to those submerged in it because you need to live in the spiritual realm and see what most people can't or choose not to see. Tricky because everything is based on our own interpretation of events, dreams and otherwise indecipherable miracles.

- Idea or Concept: One of the more fulfilling items because people who pursue ideas are generally the ones who do not wait for it to be approved by others. A great manifestation of end to end creativity. Take one idea and chase it all your life because it is one meteor of an idea or take up a series of smaller ideas one after another and jump from one fascinating world to another. Bliss of creation, accomplishment, intelligence, life and more. You might forget yourself as you transform the idea from its abstract form into tangible reality. 

- A cause: Arguably, the most noble pursuit and the one most approved by the social ecosystem. Otherwise more or less similar to loving an idea. But every cause has its share of critics who are hoping that it will cease to be given importance. It is, arguably, easier to ignore idea critics but not so easy to ignore people who become obstacles to causes. 

- Another human: Most tangible, natural, and popular choice for a majority of humans. Simple and popular way of leading your life as long as you are good at dealing with people, understanding others (or just that one person) and garnering the support of the rest of the people in your life. If your people skills are bad, this can turn out to be a huge and hilarious mess.

- Power/Fame/Money or Luxuries: Love that many people cry against but secretly pursue or find it hard to resist if it happens to them. 

- Oneself: All of us need at least a bit of this in order to survive with self-respect but too much in the wrong direction turns you into a megalomaniac that the world loves to hate. Hats off to the few people who have mastered the art of focusing on the self without alienating others.     

Finally, if you know how to engage yourself properly in one of the categories and learn to efficiently juggle a few more categories, you're likely to be a happy person. However, shifting frequently within the same category may be the result of inappropriate focus, flimsy thinking or lack of ethics (think politicians switching parties on the pretext of supporting a new cause every few years or movie actors confused about specializing in commercial vs art genres). 

So, what am I driving at? My undying love for exploring and analyzing life from my armchair.....God only knows. :-P  #kthxbye 

H.O.P.E

Ken Robinson - "Not far from where I live is a place called Death Valley. Death Valley is the hottest, driest place in America, and nothing grows there. Nothing grows there because it doesn't rain. Hence, Death Valley. In the winter of 2004, it rained in Death Valley. Seven inches of rain fell over a very short period. And in the spring of 2005, there was a phenomenon. The whole floor of Death Valley was carpeted in flowers for a while. What it proved is this: that Death Valley isn't dead. It's dormant. Right beneath the surface are these seeds of possibility waiting for the right conditions to come about, and with organic systems, if the conditions are right, life is inevitable. It happens all the time." via TED

Fully Alive or Not?

There are probably only two ways to stay fully and truly alive.

To be completely engrossed in reality and merge into it; to absorb everything in the world and respond back to it so casually and efficiently that the give and take is seamless, there appears to be just one entity in all and there is no such thing as unproductive friction.

Or....to be amazingly unperturbed and detach oneself thoroughly from reality, as if it were of no consequence whatsoever. To be as if nothing actually happened even whilst everything happened.....if you get my drift. To behave like there is no other entity apart from the self.

Some enlightened souls, of course, would have us believe that both these ways are exactly the same. ;) #zen #paradox

Driving and Life - 13 Metaphors

13 parallels between Life and Driving.
We are already familiar with almost every idea that this analogy/metaphor has to offer. But I still like it packed in the cover of a metaphor.

1. Reduce your speed
Is it really nice to be rushing around and clucking (clutching & braking?) like a mad hen all the time? We need to remember to slow down quickly (heh heh) and frequently enough

2. Don't compete or race
This is a guaranteed way to make sure we lose it or feel stupid as we go about life. By all means, let's do it if we don't mind dents in our mental-makeup

3. Don't compare
Looking at other vehicles (hey, look, a Lamborghini) instead of focusing on the road in front of us. Drooling over what others have rather than driving down our own path joyously. We are bound to crash into something and slip into permanent depression

4. Fuel up
If we're not sure about the what, where, when and how of the fuel we need in order to go about our journeys, it's quite likely we may be stranded in the middle of nowhere. Must identify and store some fuel (inspiration) to help us run

5. Focus on the drive rather than the destination
Constantly worrying about where we need to be rather than concentrating on and enjoying the drive is a pity. Can't help it at times though

6. Don't let others tell you how to drive (But allow for companionship/encouragement/warnings/wisdom)
Sheesh. Sigh. No back-seat driving. Let's claim our lives. Shall we?

7. Don't obsess over the scratches and dents
Hard. It happened. It will be there. Maybe we can get it tinkered at an affordable cost. If not, can we just let it be?
Dealing with nasty co-travelers on the road is more difficult than this but perhaps the same philosophy can be applied there as well

8. Switch on the stereo
Tiddly tumty tum and Tra laa la. Got to energize ourselves and listen/dance to some music. Let's not forget the controls if we happen to be listening to music while driving. Shaking a leg, of course, requires us to stop for a while

9. Master your parking skills
At times, we'd have to make do with what we get and fit our lives into available or unusual slots. In other words, be prepared to play with the cards we've been given. Psst, we can either loosen up and go for it or, sometimes, pay for valet parking

10. Drop off your vehicle for service
Before or after some journeys, drop off the vehicle at a service station. The vehicle probably needs a complete wash/new parts/paint. Relax and rejuvenate at intervals

11. Know the important road rules
Especially the ones related to dignity, courtesy and safety. Let's not jeopardize other travelers' lives

12. Get a trainer or a coach
The right ones might instill some confidence and give us the essential practice and tricks necessary for survival and success

13. Keep the emergency support numbers handy
Do we know how to sort things out and resume our journey if and when there is a break-down? If yes, there's a lot to be proud of and happy about. Else, let's keep the emergency numbers accessible at all times

I declare you free. Run now. Call emergency if you must.

Truth

Truth is like a butterfly. Colourful. Fascinating. Fleeting. And there are many fluttering in the garden.

You can focus and chase one all the way but still make space for appreciating a few different others on the journey. You can simply watch all of them enchanted by the apparent diversity. You can pick up a magnifying glass to study one and dive deep into it without letting it blind you to everything else......

Share

It ought to be fine to.....

share your contemplations; they preceded the results

share your stumblings; they led you to smartness

share your learnings; they contributed to success

share your darkness; they nudged you to your glow

share your ruminations; they were replaced by your humor

share your doubts; they were pushed away by your dreams

The temporarily lost may - thanks to you - remember how to get over something or how to take the rough with the smooth

“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.” - Maya Angelou

Gotta go for it

When life gets one brooding a bit.....

One mustn't WAIT for the spark to hit.

One, first of all, ought not to sit......

But go around and check if the area is lit.

Tap into some random source of wit....

And whip up some long-lasting grit.

Hoist oneself atop the pit.....

And gather a good motivation kit.

Because one, ultimately, gotta go for it.

How to make a mess of your life

Three simple and easy steps to make a total mess of all things 

Repeat every day to stay in the cage of misery and clip your wings 

One:

Find two things to complain and rant about

Sometimes you could murmur, sometimes you could shout 

Two:

Find two topics and appropriate people to fight or argue with

Don't pause to think if you are pursuing the truth or chasing a myth

Three:

Find some faults in people or situations around you 

Elaborate and examine till the concerned blokes turn blue 

Tip:

Take as many of these aspects from the past as possible 

As the past guarantees you things that are no longer changeable 

Mother....

A child that has arrived,
Is one that has derived

the beverage of life from its mother's bosom
the warmth of affection from its mother's kisses
the courage of connection from its mother's umbilical cord
the gift of the gab from its mother's murmurings
the luxury of lazing around from its mother's lap

the depth of sensitivity from its mother's gaze 
the courtesy to contribute from its mother's hands
the confidence of doing right from its mother's advice
the bliss of being right from its mother's trust

Mother; the mother of all sources
Mother; the origin of positive forces

Service

I wonder if Life is but a desperate effort on our part to run between success (I define it here as 'pursuing an activity that seems meaningful, ethical and joyous to your mind and spirit - following your bliss - and sharing your gift with the world') at one end and a sense of belonging (feeling the oneness that is so often talked about in spirituality) at the other. 

The distance, methinks, is formidable for many. It is hard to imagine someone obsessed with ideas paying close attention to people and relationships. It is equally hard to imagine a compassionate person pursuing ideas with a zeal that ignores social consequences of any sort. 

There is one powerful exception though; A lot of wise people keep telling us that the best and surest way to find happiness is by serving others (not limited to conventional ideas). H'm. See the point? It reduces the distance between success and sense of belonging to zero. 

Belief

Buddha is quoted thus: "Don't believe everything you read". Abraham Lincoln also apparently warned people to not believe everything on the Internet. I don't know; Lincoln was the one quoted in that poster I saw on the Internet. 

Logically speaking, how could we anyway believe everything we read? Just when you had permanently concluded that laughter is good for health, some researchers come out of their isolated offices and tell you that your organs might get ruptured or displaced if you laugh too much. 

Just when you were sure that deep introspection is what might make you a better human being, some psychologists warn you about the side effects of deep thinking. Who wants to be a better human being but, at the same time, slightly insane? (Makes you wonder how they arrived at such a conclusion without thinking too much). 

Not a single so-called Universal truth is left untouched or unchallenged. There are many ways to use rational thoughts to either construct or destroy the same case. People, meanwhile, simply choose what they want to believe and ignore everything else. 

What next? We must simply wait for Mark Twain to tell us (via the Internet, of course) to start believing everything we read. That way, we'll take ourselves less seriously and life will be a lot more fun. 

The T&C of Life

Going past a huge cemetery is somewhat like a situation wherein you see the Terms & Conditions of an essential service (life, in this case) - but you don't really read everything; you just scroll down the page. 

But when you see a mortuary van on its way inside, you are reminded of the inevitability of the 'I agree' check box, irrespective of whether you really do agree or not. There is no way out.

Extending the metaphor, here's food for thought:

Do we dwell so much upon the T&C that we never reach the check box or realize its existence?

Do we jump, skip and hop across the T&C without a care and land on the check box with a jolly shout?

Do we read a bit of the T&C, get psyched out and surrender at the altar of the check box? 

Songs that Life Sings

Life has it all. Think about it; The most fascinating thing about life is life. 

It might play its million songs in the shuffle mode and give you just about everything - surprises, shocks, sobriety, success, serenity, serendipity or stimulation. 

It might play the same old song again and again in a loop and make you think you'd rather be dead (pessimist) or wonder how to get obsessed (optimist) with that one song. 

It may also, occasionally, play plenty of customized play-lists giving us the illusion of control. 

Labels

Labels. We can't think without using them, can we? They turn into disastrous and murderous weapons when we employ them to judge people, events and ideas. How many times do we pause before sticking an imaginary label on someone or something? How many times are we willing to pull off that label despite realizing that perception is different from reality. How many times are we incorrigibly convinced that our labels are right forever? 

Is it possible to stop our conditioning, experiences and intellectual limitations from dictating to our labels? Can we settle for labels that are empty until we are sufficiently engaged with the person, event or idea to know that the labels must perhaps remain empty forever? I don't know (to quote my niece on most matters). 

The right place for labels is in the mind's lab where we secretly examine the label from multiple angles and don't let any of our prejudices and past experiences influence us while at it and......finally, shred them to pieces rather than let them splatter black on things yet to come. 

Peace

Some thoughts take off elegantly and enthusiastically into the bright and blue sky and your spirit soars along, with a song on its lips.

Some thoughts, meanwhile, speedily slide down into a dark and endless abyss and drag your spirit down even as it resists and trips.

To silently watch both with stoic equanimity and see that they both are equally unreal is what works, as 'spirituality' often quips. 

To Believe or Not to Believe

Buddha is quoted thus: "Don't believe everything you read". Abraham Lincoln also apparently warned people to not believe everything on the Internet. I don't know; Lincoln was the one quoted in that poster I saw on the Internet. 

Logically speaking, how could we anyway believe everything we read? Just when you had permanently concluded that laughter is good for health, some researchers come out of their isolated offices and tell you that your organs might get ruptured or displaced if you laugh too much. 

Just when you were sure that deep introspection is what might make you a better human being, some psychologists warn you about the side effects of deep thinking. Who wants to be a better human being but, at the same time, slightly insane? (Makes you wonder how they arrived at such a conclusion without thinking too much). 

Not a single so-called Universal truth is left untouched or unchallenged. There are many ways to use rational thoughts to either construct or destroy the same case. People, meanwhile, simply choose what they want to believe and ignore everything else. 

What next? We must simply wait for Mark Twain to tell us (via the Internet, of course) to start believing everything we read. That way, we'll take ourselves less seriously and life will be a lot more fun. 

TIME vs LIFE

Question that I spotted recently- How does time influence us? HT: John Hovell

Such a critical question that many of us probably don't think about often! A movie I watched has helped me refine my thoughts on this topic. Thinking about it linearly, at one extreme end of the spectrum, we have people who are slaves of time and will dance to its tunes almost always. 

Ironically, these are the people who want to conquer time, squeeze in everything possible and stuff the 'Time' bag till they are sure it can't hold any more. Which implies they are always under pressure and the dark cloud of unfinished tasks constantly hovers over their heads. They are likely to just fleet through most things in life as they are waiting for the next thing to happen. I can't help but think that the problem has become more severe with the explosion of concepts like multi-tasking, social networking and the subsequent personalized information glut. (Earlier it was plain information glut, with no special messages attached to it which means it was easier to ignore). 

Those of us who are stuck in this constantly churning wheel of time would hardly enjoy the ride. And we have ourselves to blame for it. We are perhaps competing against others with time as the measure, have no clue about our real priorities and are addicted to busyness so as to shut off our wandering minds. 

At the other end of the spectrum, we have people who may have no respect whatsoever for time and would rarely care about its delicate rules or limitations. Such a strong lack of respect for time can be no good either. It smacks of a lack of purpose, lack of knowledge of situations, lack of awareness of other social elements and addiction to laziness. 

As in everything else, we need to hunt for Zen, the middle path, that lets us get the better of time when it really matters (a surgery, a relationship etc) and let it go when there is a need to pause for breath, joy, meaning and clarity of thought. A middle path that lets us take our eyes off the clock, slow down frequently and enjoy the moment that we occupy so much that the clock too is forced to stop in order to watch us. 

In short, too much focus on time will lead to a negative impact on the quality of our lives while a lack of focus on time will reduce the quality of the positive impact we have on life.

Restlessness

The spirit that often wants to break free

Amidst its ignorance of what will be

The determination to find the energy to soar 

The desire to breakthrough the silence and roar

Almost the entire world yet to explore

Piled up and untouched ideas galore 

Even as one sees the intense human spirit flow and grow

The heart of every cell wishes for peace to lend its glow

Compassion

Gut-wrenching noise of the goat from across the street. 
It is hard to bear the sound of his agonizing bleat. 

He somehow knows what is in store but probably hopes for a miracle. 
What he does not know is half the world has to cry for the other half to cackle. 

Note: This post is not intended to offend or hurt anyone. It is only the expression of a personal feeling and can be applied in multiple situations.