Principles. Practicality. Pride

I am, um, committing the crime of generalizing things and bucketing them. Wait! You can't warn me because I've warned myself.  But the fact is that I normally think about such things, write down whatever occurs to me and then leave it to my subconscious mind (which is apparently more in tune with the Universe) to apply it only in situations wherein it ought to be . And, note that I don't hang them - my generalizations, I mean - around my neck and make it my primary instrument of perception and interpretation. You'd better believe me ;-)

Righto! All the nonsensical prelude aside, here is what I cooked up as I inhaled what must have been carbon monoxide and watched riders/drivers break rules and jeopardize the lives of many innocent people on the roads at ~8.32 am. There are broadly three kinds of thinking that people engage in while going about their daily decisions. Thoughts that are driven by Principles, Practicality or Pride. (My mind keeps discovering words that alliterate or rhyme when I set out to explain - unnecessarily, of course - various phenomena in the world and I pretend to play along by expanding them into lengthy and meandering paragraphs.)

Coming back to our - ok, my - three categories of thoughts that in turn dictate to decision making, a lot depends on both, people's inherent nature and how they've been nurtured. Parenting (apart from one's individuality), methinks, has a Major (M in caps) impact on whether we are driven predominantly by principles, practicality or pride.

If your Parents thought they were at the far right of the chart of human evolution, gave you less or no room for making mistakes, sermonized at the drop of a hat, did not allow you to break any of the so-called rules, were rarely lenient, were attached to their value-system, culturally sensitive and so on, *and* you lent yourself to all of this or succumbed to it (depending on the way you see it ;-)), you are likely to now be an adult largely driven by principles; mostly those that were conditioned into you by your parents. In certain cases, you may have, of course, added a few self-discovered principles to the list that was thrust down your throat.

The point to note, however, is that if you were a rebel despite your Parents being obsessed with idealistic and rigid rules and approaches, then you may now be an adult driven by pride.

If you were subjected to so-called "smart" and in-touch-with-reality parenting, you are probably an adult driven by practicality. If your Parents' focus was almost always on survival, people-handling tactics and techniques, financial security, materialistic prosperity and the like, you surely grew up seeing yourself as a self-serving cog in the world's chaotic wheel. If you watched your parents sacrifice a few or several ideals and principles in order to obtain results and get to the finishing point in the various races run by society, you are likely to be a person who values practical thinking. You may very well be one of those street-smart adults who rarely gets bogged down by the world's evil ways and, in fact, knows how to get what he wants without creating much of a flutter. You undoubtedly have earned a lot of naive and clueless people's admiration. Sweet-talking, subtle wins in psychological or emotional battles and a certain type of ruthlessness are perhaps your forte.

Brings me to, unarguably, the most meaningless kind of parenting. That which results in children who grow up to pat and pamper their pride every day of their miserable lives. They lose track of logic and have no idea what values are all about. The most important thing happens to be empty egoism and vanity. They are so focused on fulfilling their ego's needs that they neither let the people with principles propose the vision nor let the ones who are practical get things moving or done. Come to think of it, they may not even know why they are doing what they are doing and are so narcissistic that they believe the world exists to serve them. Good luck to them because they must be careful not to kill people on their way to nowhere. O_o

Principle-based thinking more often than not results in condescending curmudgeons. Practical thinking results in ruthless rascals. Pride, ewww, delivers repulsive reptiles. That, my dear friends, is what we, the human race, are all about. Tada. Om Shanti.

Belief

Buddha is quoted thus: "Don't believe everything you read". Abraham Lincoln also apparently warned people to not believe everything on the Internet. I don't know; Lincoln was the one quoted in that poster I saw on the Internet. 

Logically speaking, how could we anyway believe everything we read? Just when you had permanently concluded that laughter is good for health, some researchers come out of their isolated offices and tell you that your organs might get ruptured or displaced if you laugh too much. 

Just when you were sure that deep introspection is what might make you a better human being, some psychologists warn you about the side effects of deep thinking. Who wants to be a better human being but, at the same time, slightly insane? (Makes you wonder how they arrived at such a conclusion without thinking too much). 

Not a single so-called Universal truth is left untouched or unchallenged. There are many ways to use rational thoughts to either construct or destroy the same case. People, meanwhile, simply choose what they want to believe and ignore everything else. 

What next? We must simply wait for Mark Twain to tell us (via the Internet, of course) to start believing everything we read. That way, we'll take ourselves less seriously and life will be a lot more fun. 

Interested, Intelligent or Ignorant?

There are things (and times when) we constantly analyze, judge and evaluate; Categorize, take sides, conclude and declare. We are seen as keen participants; interested and perhaps intelligent. The inevitable consequence is to either cheat ourselves into believing that we knew it all or change with the climate a la a chameleon. Nothing really bad I guess - that is life as usual for so many of us because we are under constant pressure and have been conditioned to appear intelligent and interested.

On the other hand, there are times when we are nonchalant and 'matter-of-fact'ish about there being a hundred things we can't really know, a hundred and one things we know we don't know, a hundred and two things we don't know that we don't know. Something unknown sets us free and we decide to suspend judgment (and its sisters and brothers) and just be. Maybe there's a thought or two that makes a strong appeal to be adopted but it is kindly dismissed after an internal struggle. These are the times when we manage to simply observe and trace things with an open, un-argumentative and un-excited mind. It doesn't bother us that we appear not to exist or appear to be ignorant. Such moments are liberating. If we do not let thoughts from outside infiltrate our so-called ignorance.

Peace

Some thoughts take off elegantly and enthusiastically into the bright and blue sky and your spirit soars along, with a song on its lips.

Some thoughts, meanwhile, speedily slide down into a dark and endless abyss and drag your spirit down even as it resists and trips.

To silently watch both with stoic equanimity and see that they both are equally unreal is what works, as 'spirituality' often quips. 

To Believe or Not to Believe

Buddha is quoted thus: "Don't believe everything you read". Abraham Lincoln also apparently warned people to not believe everything on the Internet. I don't know; Lincoln was the one quoted in that poster I saw on the Internet. 

Logically speaking, how could we anyway believe everything we read? Just when you had permanently concluded that laughter is good for health, some researchers come out of their isolated offices and tell you that your organs might get ruptured or displaced if you laugh too much. 

Just when you were sure that deep introspection is what might make you a better human being, some psychologists warn you about the side effects of deep thinking. Who wants to be a better human being but, at the same time, slightly insane? (Makes you wonder how they arrived at such a conclusion without thinking too much). 

Not a single so-called Universal truth is left untouched or unchallenged. There are many ways to use rational thoughts to either construct or destroy the same case. People, meanwhile, simply choose what they want to believe and ignore everything else. 

What next? We must simply wait for Mark Twain to tell us (via the Internet, of course) to start believing everything we read. That way, we'll take ourselves less seriously and life will be a lot more fun. 

The Power of the Written Word

"Each of us has a deep-seated need to reciprocate favors, regardless of whether the quid pro quo is on par with one another. Each of us has a deep-seated need to maintain an internally consistent view of who we are as individuals."

"Apparently, the simple act of writing something down, no matter how innocuous, becomes our perspective. We behave—and change our beliefs, accordingly—to satisfy a need to remain consistent with what we write" 

Source: http://www.innovationmanagement.se/2013/02/05/the-persuasive-innovator-influencing-people-to-collaborate/

Ponderrrr

Some patterns in human behaviour. 


Some people ponder over their own lives more often than not, some ponder and worry about slightly bigger environments that they have some control over and some ponder over country or world issues (or celebrities) that they may not necessarily be able to change. Finally, some worry about the abstract and un-understood - spiritual or otherwise. 

And, of course, there are those who combine two or three of these categories and those who say nothing about anything. 

Nothing good or bad about it but what makes us ponder about what we ponder about?

Cloudy Thoughts

Three thought-related tidbits from my timeline


Methinks:


If you're ready to spread the most insecure, vague and ambiguous of your thoughts in front of someone without any fear of being judged, ridiculed or rejected, it is likely that this person will also bring the best out of you.


Some wise people pointed out to me that it could, however, cost the relationship in some cases - if the person listening is not ready to accept your thoughts or the fact that they came from you or if the relationship is still nascent for him/her to understand you fully. The second point made was that there may be a difference in the way the person listening reacts if he/she is a strong stakeholder and thus takes things personally or is afraid of being affected. 

***

True in quite a lot of situations even though we may never agree:


Anthony De Mello - "People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head. It is actually done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it." 

                                                                                   ***

Sad but true:


Recently witnessed how a person with great intentions & high result-orientation can still commit blunders because of getting carried away


                                                                                  ***

Thought Patterns

This is a must-read. 
http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/04/the_thought-patterns_of_succes.html  


Author: Elizabeth Grace Saunders


Extracts I'd like to revisit often.

One Truth

I'd never disagree with this, even if my life depended on it. :-) (And, if the person being subjected to such a phenomena also has a categorical view on what is right/wrong, nothing on Earth can possibly save the people associated with him/her!). 


When I looked up Born on Wikipedia, I found something amusing and interesting. He is supposed to have contributed significantly to the field of quantum mechanics. Now, whether he was able to discover the secrets of quantum mechanics because he did not believe in one single truth or vice versa is something we may never find out. ;-)


A supplementary caveat to this quote may, arguably, be that it should not matter as long as people keep their beliefs to themselves and do not try to manipulate others (directly or indirectly) to tow their line. So, if, for example, I believed that there is no God but made no attempts to brainwash or ridicule others (who believed that there is a God), I should not be considered an evil entity in society. But does my belief remain within me, in reality?


Not necessarily. Even if I made no conscious effort to change the mental make-up of others, if my belief is strong enough, it is likely to be reflected in my actions (if not via words of advice) and that may in turn influence someone to suddenly become a skeptic (sticking to the example above). Am I an evil entity in such a situation? 


I think not. After all, my genuine and embedded thoughts will naturally emerge via my actions, choices, behavior etc. What others are influenced by because of their self-motivated observations and introspective conclusions cannot be attributed to me. (A charismatic and inward looking leader or author may easily influence hundreds of people without even intending to)


What is, however, a deciding factor in concluding whether I am potentially an evil entity or not is whether, in spite of my strong convictions, I have the attitude and the ability to be open to listening to people who have opposite views and consider their views sincerely. The key point here is to not be casually dismissive of opinions different from one's own. The need is to be mature enough to understand that a different view is a result of different and deeply embedded experiences, contexts, mental abilities and so forth. I may not be convinced by an opposite view, ultimately, because of being married to my own thoughts or because of being unable to relate to foreign examples or values of the other party. But that is fine as long as I continue to be ready to listen to the same or a variation of the view in future and untiringly reconsider my views, inspect it from unexplored angles and see it from various distances. (Unfortunately, it is also, apparently, important to retain one's sanity during such situations ;-). While the nicer lot have to focus on not losing their own sanity, the, er, rowdy lot will have to focus on not driving the other person up the wall). 

In certain cases, it may be slightly simpler and involve letting go of a situation (by avoiding the exploration of alternative views till a more conducive situation comes up in the future) because you clearly see that the other person may never understand your point of view and accept the simultaneous existence of two views because of not having gone through an essential experience (that you, however, went through). 

More food for thought: 

RT @freedomsway: "Freedom from the desire for an answer is essential to the understanding of a problem." ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

***************************************

No idea where I went with this post. :-) Whew. Let me know if I drove you up the wall, but for reasons different from those mentioned above. ;-)

Decision Making

We all arrive at conclusions, take decisions and judge situations and people based on information that we have access to. Some of us settle for the raw information that comes to us. Some analyze it and discard what does not seem useful or 'right' and add their own perspective (based on past experiences, insights, intuition) to the rest and then conclude/decide/judge. Some embark on a journey to collect more information from other sources that they think are reliable, objective etc before they take the next step. 

In the last case, the preferred length of the journey depends on various factors like the significance and complexity of the situation, consequences of taking decisions or judging people, availability and cost of information, distractions and changing priorities etc. No one can say for sure that the person who embarks on a long journey and collects tons of information before concluding on something is more likely to arrive at the right conclusion as compared to someone who settles for raw information. The degree of information consumption varies from person to person and like in everything else, one thinks that the best strategy is moderation. We should neither settle for raw information and jump to uneducated conclusions nor should we reserve our judgment until death or, well, the obsoleteness of the requirement. 

Observers Anonymous

People who tend to observe a lot, arguably, can't seem to help analyzing (sources being mostly limited to what they notice and what they immediately connect it with) and thereafter judging people and situations. Mostly a sad thing, methinks. Especially if they commit things to their long-term memory and never question their conclusions again. Scientific thinkers, in particular, may find it difficult to avoid applying this to the situations they are in. 

Quotes

Here are four brilliant quotes that I came across recently and found to be thought-provoking. 


All cruelty springs from weakness. ~ Seneca


Notes: The next time you come across a person who seems to be cruel, see if you can possibly discover the weakness behind it...and address that!


============================================


There is one path for the fleer, many for the seeker. - Marathi proverb


Notes: Seek. Seek. Seek. Never ever give up.

============================================

Between what I think, 

What I want to say,

What I believe I’m saying,

What I say,

What you want to hear,

What you hear,

What you believe you understand,

What you want to understand,

And what you understood,

There are at least nine possibilities of misunderstanding.

- French Jurist Francois Garagnon




Notes: If we believe and understand this, we may trust more people around us.


============================================

Thinkers 50

Vineet Nayar's "Employees First, Customers Second" philosophy has put him in the list of Top 50 Thinkers. Tom Peters, anyone? Sheena Iyengar (TED video on the dilemma of Choice) is the only Indian Woman in the list. 

Umair just about makes it at #49. Phew. Seth Godin, Gladwell, Marcus Buckingham, Rosabeth Kanter, Daniel Pink, Gary Hamel, Stephen Covey, Goleman and Nitin Nohria are all there. Ken Robinson is definitely there but I'd have expected him to be higher up the list.

Clayton M. Christensen is at #1 and, importantly enough, he is someone who talks about organizations' (single-minded?) pursuit of profits being not just the death of innovation but of the economy.


http://www.thinkers50.com/

Facts

I found this interesting and thoughtful set of quotes on the significance of facts.

“If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.” -  Albert Einstein 


“Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thought that is forever flowing through one's head.” -  Mark Twain


“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.” -  Charles R. Swindoll 

 
“There are no eternal facts as there are no eternal truths” - Friedrich Nietzsche 


“If the dream is big enough the facts don't matter” -  Dexter Yager



“I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts” -  Mark Twain


“In the wild struggle for existance, we want to have something that endures, and so we fill our minds with rubbish and facts, in the silly hope of keeping our place.” -  Oscar Wilde


“It must be remembered that the purpose of education is not to fill the minds of students with facts…it is to teach them to think.” -  Robert M. Hutchins


***********


Isn't it ironic that the most opinionated people are the ones that think they are armed with all the facts, A to Z? Sometimes, reading (and remembering) a lot leaves one with a fixed mindset rather than an open mind. 

The Science of Making Decisions - Newsweek

Quotes:

The Science of Making Decisions - Newsweek

• If emotions are shut out of the decision-making process, we're likely to overthink a decision, and that has been shown to produce worse outcomes on even the simplest tasks.
• trying to drink from a firehose of information has harmful cognitive effects. And nowhere are those effects clearer, and more worrying, than in our ability to make smart, creative, successful decisions.
• Creative decisions are more likely to bubble up from a brain that applies unconscious thought to a problem, rather than going at it in a full-frontal, analytical assault
• If you let things come at you all the time, you can't use additional information to make a creative leap or a wise judgment," says Cantor. "You need to pull back from the constant influx and take a break
• In contrast, a constant focus on the new makes it harder for information to percolate just below conscious awareness, where it can combine in ways that spark smart decisions.
• There is a powerful 'recency' effect in decision making. We pay a lot of attention to the most recent information, discounting what came earlier."
• We're fooled by immediacy and quantity and think it's quality
• The Art of Choosing
• It isn't only the quantity of information that knocks the brain for a loop; it's the rate. The ceaseless influx trains us to respond instantly, sacrificing accuracy and thoughtfulness to the false god of immediacy.
  • Whoa! Think! 
• First, when people see that there is a lot of complex information relevant to a decision, "they default to the conscious system,"
• Even experts become anxious and mentally exhausted. In fact, the more information they try to absorb, the fewer of the desired items they get and the more they overpay or make critical errors.
• Maybe you were this close to choosing a college, when suddenly older friends swamped your inbox with all the reasons to go somewhere else—which made you completely forget why you'd chosen the other school. 

• Experts advise dealing with emails and texts in batches, rather than in real time; that should let your unconscious decision-making system kick in. Avoid the trap of thinking that a decision requiring you to assess a lot of complex information is best made methodically and consciously; you will do better, and regret less, if you let your unconscious turn it over by removing yourself from the info influx. Set priorities: if a choice turns on only a few criteria, focus consciously on those. Some people are better than others at ignoring extra information. These "sufficers" are able to say enough: they channel-surf until they find an acceptable show and then stop, whereas "maximizers" never stop surfing, devouring information, and so struggle to make a decision and move on. 

Conscience is the Customer

Writing a poem after a long time...!

************************

A severe and unexpected blow on the head 

Can either leave one forever dead

Or give one new wisdom to deal with what's ahead

When another person's greed 

Comes at the cost of one's own need 

One can retaliate and scream in haste 

Or perhaps change one's own taste (uncompromising and yet clever)

When problems pile up together

One can complain about rough weather

Or smile & just brush them off with a light feather

It's ok to be human, take the shock and pause for a while

But life is eventually about covering the next mile

The map is drawn with values as the path(s)

It's up to one to determine which to take without any wrath

The most important thing is the conversation with one's conscience   

In order to discover one's own happiness in the long distance  

(Because) That's the only thing that may finally make sense

Twitter Moments

Valuable twitter moments:


What is seen as Good becomes Evil when it crosses the invisible line between Popularity and Hegemony. Ask MS, Google and Apple


As long as one values happiness & learning above every - single - thing else, one simply can't be down for long. Try it, try it

The Nothing Poem

Here's the terrible 'NOTHING' poem ready to unfold its intriguing story,

Giving you every bit of the details, both the noble and the gory!

Does Indifference really turn the corner when it meets Patience?

Or are we but simply staring at a huge bundle of inexplicable Nonsense?

Do we keep (expending energy) crossing many fearful oceans with all our might?

Or should we actually stop and wonder if anything at all is bright or right?

Picture Courtesy: Google Images

Are systems far too complex to understand and control?

Or should the people be blamed for allowing the system to take over and charge an unfair toll?

Is it worthwhile to create an imaginary world and wallow in its non-existent ideals?

Or is it better to put on a mask and fight the real one tooth and claw, however hideous?

Questions, questions and more questions, floating around in my adamant mind

Answers to which I realize, time and again, are extremely hard to find.

A Twitter Moment

The mother of all advice is, paradoxically, that all advice is generic and needs to be customized by the subject under question. Woof. Woof.