Coping with the World

The really ominous thing about today's world is that if one is overly sensitive, then one is likely to give in and dissolve into smithereens, one or more atoms at a time, when constantly faced with what the majority of society suffers from in one form or the other - incompetence, apathy, selfishness, superficiality, hypocritical-ness, meaninglessness, greed, cruelty, sadism, discrimination and a whole lot of other depressing things that I better stop making a list of. 

Arguably, you don't really need the media to blow it up and negatively impact your mind. Families suffer from it, organizations you work for suffer from it, banks you rely on to safeguard your earnings suffer from it, service providers you rely on to execute your tasks suffer from it and even the temple you go to for peace of mind is subjected to these ills. 

To feed into inspiring literature and thoughts and then swing back to reality might actually backfire as you struggle to cope with what you increasingly aspire for and the unyielding, chaotic and yawning gap you see when you come back to reality. If you're lucky enough to cross paths with many of those who are successfully endeavoring to make a difference, change and adapt themselves without impacting their values and attitude, little rays of hope begin to fall on you gently. If you are not filled with an infinite ability to bounce back and recreate your original strength to cope with reality as is, the only option begins to look like leaving reality, creating your own imaginary world and letting the delusion keep you ostensibly protected and happy. Buddha chose solitude and separation to understand life, Ramana chose solitude and silence and so did many other souls looking for liberation. 

A fascinating connection that occurred to me, in this context, is the mythological (Hindu) story of Ganesha (the Elephant God), Karthikeyan (his brother), Narada (the mischievous and wandering sage) and the mango that he used to create a rift between the brothers. I have listened to this story a gazillion times but this is the first time I am arriving at such an interpretation. 

Narada tempted the brothers with a single delicious-looking mango and said he could give it to only one person and suggested that they run a unique race to determine the winner. He said he would give it to the person who came around the world faster than the other. Without wasting a single second, Karthikeyan mounted his peacock and started his journey around the world. Ganesha, meanwhile, thought through it and mounted his mouse and quickly went around his Parents (who were nearby), Lord Shiva (one of the three super powers and the one in charge of re-creation through destruction) and Parvathi Devi. That, of course, took no longer than a blink of the eye. He then claimed the mango from the sage and declared that he had come around the world as His parents represented the world to Him. Narada could not deny the truth in it and therefore gave away the mango to Ganesha. 

Meanwhile, Karthikeyan returned from his world trip and went to Narada, confident that he was the winner. But, alas, he discovered that Ganesha had already claimed the mango and won it. Karthikeyan did not perceive the judgment to be fair and was enraged. He decided to leave all his possessions behind and go far away atop a mountain, and be a recluse. This, I now suspect, is a story to indicate what a person who is not tuned into worldly affairs and its subtleties will be subjected to, however sincere and dedicated he is with his tasks. Tell your child this story and see whose side she takes. You may see signs of either a worldly charlatan (I am not talking about a fraud exactly, but someone who knows how to twist things in his favor) or a person with an idealistic and simple view of what the truth is (and thinks that the world will see it the same way).  

In the modern world, there are many Karthikeyan-like recluses (such as Watterson) who have decided that happiness does not lie, for them, in coping with the real world (which in any case is not a one-time activity but something that has to be done for an entire life-time) but going away (literally) into their own shell, designed to be as self-sufficient as possible. This may, of course, call for relinquishing many materialistic and worldly desires. But the moral of the story may be that we should recognize whether we are worldly competitors who can figure out how to win the game or recluses who should carve out our own thing and stop complaining about the world. ;-)

Tidbits

Tidbits:

“An odd thing, life. You never know where you are with it, do you?” #Wodehouse

For a perfect relationship: It takes a lot of practice, a lot of sacrifice, a lot of love, a lot of pain, a lot of regrets, a lot of honesty and truth... but most of all - a lot of respect. - Pravsworld

Remember what King Julien says: You must take the music inside of you, swish it around and spit it out of your tail. - Madagascar 

RT @Gauravonomics: When we become mindful of impermanence & interdependence, cause & consequence, it becomes difficult to get angry & stay angry at others

Self-quote:

Accelerated growth causes chaos because its origin = Greed + Desire to prove supremacy in speed + Unsorted disharmony of stakeholders (because such a disharmony can never be resolved in a short period of time) #Business

Words to remember - To cope with a multitasking, random, chaotic life-style. Slow. Conscious. Deliberate. Deep. Silence. Focus. Refocus.  #Peace

Sometimes, every single cell in your body might want to protest and scream out "Do you think I have traded my brain with a reptile?" but you must grit your teeth, take a deep breath, summon your better senses and muster all the energy within to smile and say something that you'd say to a gurgling baby. #People

In some imaginary worlds there is only one, solitary, unchangeable, fixed, immovable and obvious answer to every question. I'd hate to be a part of such a world. #People

In a large organization, the only way to be truly happy at work and make profound progress every year is to find a Mentor who is committed to help you succeed. Only way. #Organization #Success 

For a family to be happy, healthy and enthusiastic, it, arguably, needs a minimum of one humorist, one nutritionist and more than 50% optimists. #Family #People 

When a strong belief is not inter-spaced with the right amount of introspection, honesty, humility and respect for others' freedom and right to learn through experimentation, we have seemingly intelligent jerks..... #People 

Individual Destiny

The world is full of wonder. There are endless opportunities. There is a lot more we can do if only we don't focus so much on financial safety (or is it mostly greed?) all the time. Parents & teachers must try hard not to narrow their child's vision and lead him/her to where *they* think the treasure is. There's so much yet to be discovered. There's so much yet to be done. There are so many new and unexplored ideas and paths. 


Why create an unnecessarily competitive world that focuses on what everybody else wants to focus on, loses track of true humanity, chases something blindly and knows not what meaning there is to life? Why can't we each choose our own niche areas and complement and collaborate with each other to build a rich, meaningful, creative, cooperative, happy and sustainable world? 


Enough of the 'mass production' of individuals who think and work alike and chase the same things without believing in it. We need to preserve the uniqueness in each of us and celebrate that for life. We need to seek what fits us as individuals and learn to ignore many of the things that the world, for some strange reason, thinks is essential to lead a good life. 


Is the urban man who eats exotic and exquisite food once a week and commutes in an expensive car necessarily happier than the rural man who eats a simple meal of rice and vegetable all through the year and spends time relaxing in the natural breeze from the magnificent trees he has planted? Aren't they both happy as long as they leverage on their skills and ideas, identify and pursue a cause and vision that is important and meaningful to them and continuously expand their capacity to think, learn and act?

Yet another year passes by

*Click* When it is so easy to lose sense of your own direction because of constant external influences (people who are not necessarily aware of or focused on what's important for you), it is critical to spend time on soul searching. It is critical to discover what you really are inspired by and believe in and remind yourself to do that constantly. One of the worst regrets to have is the inability to remain true to the self. At the same time, you need to ensure your mind is not so lost that it does not realize its own flaws and quirks. *Click*

Ponderrrr

Some patterns in human behaviour. 


Some people ponder over their own lives more often than not, some ponder and worry about slightly bigger environments that they have some control over and some ponder over country or world issues (or celebrities) that they may not necessarily be able to change. Finally, some worry about the abstract and un-understood - spiritual or otherwise. 

And, of course, there are those who combine two or three of these categories and those who say nothing about anything. 

Nothing good or bad about it but what makes us ponder about what we ponder about?

The Secret

Ok. I think I've found the ultimate secret of life. Please don't get me wrong, dear Kung Fu Panda. If you're able to muster every ounce of the ambidexterity within you to apply perfectly equal control on the two extreme and opposite forces that manifest themselves in each of the million odd dimensions of life, then you're unconquerable. There. Now that you know, just go do it. You're welcome.

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***

Think Buddha. "Stay in the middle path".

Cloudy Thoughts

Three thought-related tidbits from my timeline


Methinks:


If you're ready to spread the most insecure, vague and ambiguous of your thoughts in front of someone without any fear of being judged, ridiculed or rejected, it is likely that this person will also bring the best out of you.


Some wise people pointed out to me that it could, however, cost the relationship in some cases - if the person listening is not ready to accept your thoughts or the fact that they came from you or if the relationship is still nascent for him/her to understand you fully. The second point made was that there may be a difference in the way the person listening reacts if he/she is a strong stakeholder and thus takes things personally or is afraid of being affected. 

***

True in quite a lot of situations even though we may never agree:


Anthony De Mello - "People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head. It is actually done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it." 

                                                                                   ***

Sad but true:


Recently witnessed how a person with great intentions & high result-orientation can still commit blunders because of getting carried away


                                                                                  ***

A Single Story?

If there's only one thing you plan to do this entire week, then please watch this video. :-)


http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html

Life as it is

Why does it take a lifetime to understand that if one wants to clean a ditch one needs to get used to the stink? If, on the other hand, one realizes that a ditch will always be a ditch, why can't one go away from it or breathe less of its air?

The Mystery of Energy

There are some people who somehow bring out the best in us, in a very natural way (Ideas, attitude, humor, positivity, hope etc. No preaching/lecturing required in most cases). Our energies perhaps vibrate at similar levels and recognize each other as friends irrespective of external appearances. The best relationships are perhaps of this category....as they have no other conditions. Like Music. Nature. Children. Pets. Great Books.

Life Again

A couple of introspective moments:


Life has such an ironic sense of humor. It sometimes kills the usually sensitive and careful people for doing just one wrong thing or saying something inappropriate (during a rare or confused instance) but it may accept or become indifferent (immune) to people who do nothing but inappropriate things most of their lives. Ha ha. :-)

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It is howlarious and ridiculous how we interpret sorrow or drawbacks according to our convenience. Human behaviour is such a comic thing. Depending on whom the sorrow/drawback invades, we attribute it to radically different causes that our collective or individual mind/ego is satisfied with. It could be "something they deserve to get for their wrongs" or "a result of their/our past sins" or "just a part of life" or "the consequence of ill-wishes or jealousy of others" or "a required learning experience". We need to grow up. Big time. :-)

What's More Dangerous?

Cruelty by itself is not permanent; It can be removed. What makes it dangerous is it is because of or combined with insanity and/or stupidity.

Tranquility Doesn't Exist

Have you ever felt that the need for tranquility - in today's world - is actually more than the need for happiness? Happiness is indeed within and can be tapped into by doing and thinking the "right" things. Isn't tranquility, on the other hand, based on what's happening "outside" even as you happen to be looking inward?


A pond that's left to its natural state deals with its moss, sharks, weeds, reflections, and what not. It can remain happy AND tranquil despite the weeds, the mud underneath and its other natural challenges. But what happens when there are external disturbances like someone throwing a stone and causing unnecessary interruptions (the ripples and the noise)? It can still choose to be happy and find happiness within but there is no denying the fact that - in reality - there is no tranquility. Happiness is possible but Tranquility seems like an unachievable goal.....even worse, happiness that is achieved without tranquility in the outside world almost seems artificial. Frightening. 

Source: Google Images

The Theory of Truth

Here I am....er...with another weird theory.  This one though is, ironically, called the theory of truth. Not sure if western philosophy and religion emphasize on the search for and discovery of the truth but eastern religions, literature and manuscripts have, I think, numerous references to the concept of 'looking for the truth' (think Buddha and Enlightenment or Nirvana).

Here is my take on the reflection of this in society at large. I reckon you can decipher a person's approach towards the concept of truth from her 'overall' (what can be consistently observed in the majority of situations) behavior. One's approach towards the concept of truth, I think, has enormous (& critically so) implications on behavior in terms of values and ethical thoughts, personal and professional decisions, relationships and learning.

Here are some approaches (to truth) that may be the cause for certain common or uncommon (useful or useless, appreciated or unappreciated, successful or unsuccessful etc) traits in people.

a) An approach that involves constantly going in search of the truth but never seeming to reach it (fickle minded and indecisive but open-minded people?)

b) Belief that we already know the 'permanent' truth (supreme exhibitors of confidence and rigid/inflexible thinkers?)

c) Belief that there is no such thing as the 'truth' and that everything is perception (happy-go-lucky, adjusting and somewhat frivolous characters?)

d) Conviction that the truth is constantly evolving and is therefore not actually chase-able (open-minded, humble and intense listeners who never criticize anything?) 

Having proposed my theory of truth, I'd like to stray a bit into a related area. I think truth (irrespective of whether it is permanent or temporary) becomes elusive and hard to get to because of the following fallacies that almost every human shows.

1. Assumptions: How much ever we are asked and trained to not assume things, we will continue to assume things based on our knowledge (or rather ignorance), beliefs, intentions etc and this will keep us away from the truth (eg: assuming a particular thing to be the purpose of an activity)

2. Face value acceptance: How much ever we are taught to look deeper, question everything and analyze things from a neutral standpoint, we will continue to arrive at  conclusions based on face value and thus be mislead to a place far away from the truth (eg: believing what someone says without probing further and studying other sides or aspects of the story)

3. Ignoring differences in definitions: How much ever we are reminded that each person's definition (understanding and interpretation) of a term or concept is likely to be different from others' definitions, we plunge into things with the blind belief that we are all on the same page and have a common understanding and interpretation of the aspects under discussion  

Righto. I am perhaps done with my quota of pure and meaningless philosophy for the next one year. But if you want to ramble along, go ahead and assume things, accept this at face value and ignore our definition differences and rattle off your thoughts. Har har. :-)

Purpose. Bell the Purrrrrpose Cat.

Something I think about often is the reason why we exist. I've come across and considered (at least superficially)  multiple philosophies ranging from 

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a1) we all have a clear purpose in life and must find it......... or 


a2)......... we will end up achieving our purpose come what may............. to 


b) ........we exist because we have sinned in our previous lives and will continue to exist till we are 'good' enough to go back to the Universal power (this being our purpose) we all came from.... to 


c) .......there is no purpose in life as such; we must just learn to live every moment and take things as they come because there is very little under our control and the world is a random and dynamic place where nothing is predictable. 


My mind is however inclined to believe that we all have a purpose or a mission that may be predetermined or perhaps a purpose/mission that secretly evolves with our own growth (character, ambitions dictated by the situation etc). I am not sure why every single thing that happens to us happens the way it does but I do believe in the so-called coincidences that seem to know just what we need, help us understand what is important and take us closer to what we - deep in our heart - believe we must be doing and so forth. 


I think it takes a lot to NOT 'see' and 'pursue' this purpose. Though, I have no concrete ideas on what these 'bad' influences pulling us away from our actual purposes could be. (The symptoms could be lack of confidence, failure to grab and hold on to excellent opportunities etc). 


Oops. I'm on the verge of forgetting what I started out to write this post for. My message - I have a strong suspicion that identifying our purpose is very easy if we just pay a little more attention. The purpose is more often than not...


a) Staring us right in our face and is as obvious as the reflection in our mirror. Almost everything we do is adding up and leading to that obvious purpose/mission.


b) Lurking just beneath the surface of our lives and all it takes may be one or more consecutive or spaced out events/incidents for it to bob up and get all our attention. Seen from another angle, all it needs is perhaps a little coincidental tap for it to emerge and show up in all its glory. In retrospect, most of the events and situations we were involved in becomes an obvious link to the newly recognized purpose.  


c) Perhaps embedded slightly lower down, somewhere in the recesses of your life but it could be easily nudged out with a little bit of external help/support from the 'important' people around you (your role models, parents, teachers, friends etc. People who have the wisdom to see what's hidden within you even though it may not be visible to you)


If there are people who are convinced, during the last leg of their lives, that they seemed to have lived their lives without any clear purpose whatsoever, then maybe that was their very purpose - to simply flow along the river of life and enjoy its various currents minus a single or key destinations. 


Notes: I have a couple of books that talk about identifying one's purpose in life but I'm yet to read them. Once I read them, I'll perhaps come back to this post and find out what I would 'still' agree with or disagree with. ;-)

Who are You?

It occurred to me that there's a lot you can say about a person and her quality of life based on whether she considers herself the fill in the blanks  of her life wherein the fill in the blanks  could be any of the below 'designations' or perhaps even a combination of one or more of these. Most of these are metaphors from the world of cinema but if it is true that all the world is a stage, it is highly likely that most of these metaphors are relevant and will ring a bell when one thinks about life in general. 


a) CEO or
b) Director or
c) Playwright/Lyricist/Composer or
d) Lead Actor/Artist or
e) Supporting Actor/Singer or
f) Producer or
g) Spectator or 
h) Critic or
i) Mentor/Guide


Let me try and elaborate on what I mean by each of these. These are partly stereotypical but partly my personal interpretations of the 'designation'. It's not about whether these are 'true' or not but this is simply an individual's metaphorical perspective in terms of how each of us approach life - if at all we have a method amidst the madness. The idea is to introspect on how we go about life (what 'designation' we normally seem to adopt) and whether we are overdoing it as a - for example - Playwright or Producer and need to learn to switch to other 'designations' during various situations etc. I am conscious that I am, yet again, tending towards categorization or bucketing but it does help as long as one isn't totally ruled by it and allows it to only aid the initial understanding and, er, awakening. 


A CEO (imagine someone in a commercial/business scenario) is bound to exude confidence, pay a lot of attention to the big picture and is likely to think long-term. She is likely to be dominant and lead everything she engages herself in. She is likely to pursue success, fame, money, achievement but may not spend a lot of time understanding the intricacies and details. She'd rather delegate things and 'make use' of the others to get things done. She is a great decision-maker. She may understand people and human behavior really well but may not necessarily be people oriented or friendly. This person may also be considered the Director of Casting when it comes to dealing with people. Would you enjoy such an approach towards life?


In my perception, there is a thin line of difference between a CEO and a Director (imagine a movie director or a project director) even though they, at first, seem like similar, powerful, positions. A director is perhaps more project focused, more people oriented and skill oriented. He may come across as a creative and sensitive person. He may move on from one thing to another wherein the jumps are quite radical or at least 'unsimilar'. Arguably, a Director may either flow with the changing context and be quite flexible or extremely rigid and insist on having exactly what he started out with. He is independent and knows how to pull various threads of his life together into one frame (pun unintended). So...are you the Director (rather than the CEO) of your life?


A Playwright/Lyricist/Composer's approach to life may be utterly creative, observant, sensitive and focused on a particular situation. She may be the emotional types and very passionate (not unlike a CEO or a Director in terms of passion). She may be more 'theoretical' than practical in her approach and methods. She is also likely to be intellectual and thoughtful rather than action-oriented. She may be idealistic, lost in her own perception of the world and be 'detached' from reality and what's happening around her. If you are a 'Playwright' in life, you may have no doubts recognizing such an approach in yourself. 

A Lead Actor/Artist may be extremely talented/capable but may need to be nurtured and directed in order to exhibit and utilize his talent. He may be popular amongst his friends and family and generally enjoy a luxurious life as long as he has found the right mentor and a good support system. A lead actor may sometimes be capable enough of stepping into a 'Director's' shoes and think/act like her. He is likely to pay a lot of attention to the aesthetics of life and prefer a glamorous and flamboyant approach to it. A lead actor may have delusions of being a super human and being capable of everything in life. So, do you lead your life like a hero?  

A Supporting Actor/Singer as in life may be talented but is not concerned about aspects like dominance and being in the limelight. She may be content with little wins, accomplishments and learnings and be happy to support someone perceived to be 'bigger'. She may be very busy and hungry for work and yet quiet subdued when in public. She may, arguably, be comfortable 'performing' in a niche area rather than getting involved in the bigger picture (pun unintended) or aspects outside of her 'responsibility' or 'interest'.    

Are you the Producer of your life more than anything else? I hope not, because my interpretation of such an approach to life is arguably meaningless except for activities revolving around cash flow. :-) I think such a person knows nothing much about life other than it being a means to make and spend money. Everything the person does is likely to revolve around money (costs, revenues, savings, cash-flow, return on investment, rate of interest, inflation and what not). Such a person is not bound to pay attention to relationships, people, purpose, society etc. He'd only, for example, focus on the financial value of doing something. This may be a harsh analysis but the assumption is that we are talking about people who , largely, have a 'Producer' approach to life. A Producer may indirectly facilitate employment, a dynamic economy and utilization of financial resources but may not contribute much beyond that. 

A Spectator of life is, well, perhaps someone who leads a 'neutral' life. A very strong believer of pre-determined destiny might fall under this category. She is likely to have a stoic approach to life and believe that it presents no particular joy or sorrow. Such a person may be the least materialistic of all, have no goals or desires and may be content 'watching' his own life pass by as if she were simply a witness rather than the one who is responsible - directly or indirectly - for the events of her life. Spectators, may be exceedingly calm and composed under all circumstances and, ironically, may have either atheistic tendencies or be a complete surrenderer to the perceived universal power.

Critics are those with either a largely self-critical approach to life (the self-sabotagers etc) or those critical about life per se and everything around them (Tch tch. Sheesh). He is a spectator but not a happy or neutral spectator. I hope none of us lead our lives like a critic. Personally, I think this could perhaps be the most pathetic approach towards life. He is always complaining, finding fault, criticizing, worrying etc. At the other extreme, he is someone with a lack of confidence, self-doubt, lack of action, a procrastinator & negative thinker, etc. 

Mentor/Guide is a person who believes she is wise and extremely familiar with life. She thinks she is a master of her life and beyond CEOs and Directors. She believes she knows life so well that she is well-equipped to teach others how to live. She is generally found giving unsolicited advice (eeks) and telling people what to do and how to do it. The ultimate nosy-parker. Or perhaps even the spiritual leader.

So, how do you generally approach life? Do you have a dominant tendency or does it happen to be a combination of many attitudes? Are you able to balance your approach according to what the situation demands? Have you learned to appreciate the differences between such approaches and, well, tolerate them? :-) 

I look forward to feedback. Maybe I have hit upon some kinda truth, uh?

Identity

Ultimately, Identity = What we (think about + believe in + behave like + pursue + create + share). Your thoughts?


Update (16th Aug):

Came across a somewhat similar post by Pravs World this morning. :-) Talks about the richness of life being a consequence of our dreams, friends, ideas etc.

Twitter Moments

Valuable twitter moments:


What is seen as Good becomes Evil when it crosses the invisible line between Popularity and Hegemony. Ask MS, Google and Apple


As long as one values happiness & learning above every - single - thing else, one simply can't be down for long. Try it, try it

Conscience - Switch it ON Please

Some people happily disown their conscience and push it into the poorest of orphanages, eh? What is it that is so difficult about admitting mistakes, taking charge of your responsibilities, and being true to yourself? What makes a human conscience disappear in the first place? Is it parenting, schooling (or lack of it), how we respond to the world we see when we 'arrive' and establish a shaky foot-hold, or just the lack of a good soul for reasons beyond our understanding?

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M-onkey or D-onkey

Sometimes, you'll realize you've been submitting a smart donkey in a competition meant for smart monkeys. ZOOm out & think harder. Pun intended.

Google Images

Google Images