Sharing

To knock someone's door and ask for something is an act of compassion at times.

If you trust yourself, are willing to give and enjoy collective happiness, when someone asks you for something, you might be surprised to discover how much you really have and are able to share....and that spans across many things......affection, knowledge and time.....

Social Media

Disclaimer: Please ask your mobile service provider to activate your sense of humor before reading further.

Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, including you, except Yours Truly is merely and purely coincidental.

Selfies, sunsets, babies and cats

Some bouquets and a few brickbats

Like, comment or lazily lurk

Fool around, think a bit or just burp

Boast a bit or somewhat less or a lot

Declare whether life is cool or hot 

Birthdays, weddings, parties and all

Trips to everywhere, now on the wall

What was for lunch and what for dinner

Who is the saint and who the sinner

Sports, movies, politics and religion

What to embrace and what to shun

Obsess about an idea or a cause   

And garner some passing applause

Share nonsensical poetry 

Indulge in honest or random flattery 

Talk about this; talk about that

Go around in circles; say Howzzat 

Wonder what the heck is happening

And quit the whole damn thing 

Is your sense of humor intact? *Peace*

Please continue what you were doing.

How a Good Person Can Really Win - A Book Review

Book Review: Pavan Choudary’s “How A Good Person Can Really Win”

I enjoy reading genuine self-help books that combine inspiring thoughts with compelling and actionable approaches, ideas and tips. A visit to a well-stocked book shop will prove to you that there is no dearth of books in the self-help section. But as a devoted pursuer of books, I think there are a few things to be wary of.

Depending on the phase of life you are in, your view of life in general and preferred approaches to dealing with its challenges, some books stimulate your thoughts and coax you into taking positive action while some other books are, at best, boring or misleading. Before you impulsively purchase a book, you need to relax, sit down, flip through the book, connect with its theme, structure and ideas. You also need to check if the writing style of the author appeals to your subconscious before you pick it up and rely on it to change your life. 

Well, for a change, I did not have to do any of this to read "How a Good Person Can Really Win" (HGPCRW). The book found me via my blog. To start with, I feel quite lucky about it. 

HGPCRW is not a book that one reads, feels good about and forgets. Nor is it a book that gives you something on the lines of a DIY (do it yourself) kit that you build and reuse everywhere. I think it is a book that you need to keep on your table and refer to regularly. It has plenty of interesting and thought-provoking stories and snippets that one cannot read once and absorb forever. It is a 'situational' book; a book that will give you something to ponder over in many important situations that you may find yourself in. 

The book is split into three parts and the author has done some excellent and appropriate anecdotal research for each of these sections. Part 1 outlines the characteristics of people who resort to vile-like qualities characters. Part 2 unveils advice for the naive and is focused on specific situations. Part 3 gives the reader a set of powerful values to derive inspiration from.

Part 1, to me, was interesting and somewhat like reading the Politics and Page 3 sections of the newspaper. :-) It also made me wonder if normally good-natured people would resort to any of the vile-like methods when under severe pressure. When I moved on to Part 2, I was excited and intrigued by the stories and the anecdotes. Some situations were so familiar that I found myself grinning and reading the insights with gratitude. Part 3 seemed shorter than the other two parts but was a fascinating read because it was packed with concise and powerful ideas. 

In a nut shell, I think this book will be a reliable "guide" that can be approached for advice during difficult situations. The insights will, I think, fascinate and appeal to many a mind.

Disclaimer: The publishers offered me the book for a review. However, the review is a pure reflection of my own experiences and thoughts and not influenced by any external entities. 

Perception

When you remind yourself every day that others may never ever see things from your perspective, you grow more tolerant and self-reliant. 

When you remind yourself every day that you may never ever see things from others' perspective, you grow more compassionate and learn to leave them alone.

Thoughts...

Recent ideas and thoughts that I'd like to gather on this blog. 

Life, Psychology

When you compare, you lose your CORE. What you are left with is only mpa - madness, (self)pity or arrogance. Hint: CO-mpa-RE.

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Success 

The only situation in which you can blame yourself wholeheartedly for inappropriate results is when you hold the reigns. It's no use saying that the reigns are not in your hands. Sometimes, you need to realize the need to grab it and then grab it somehow (sigh...but how?) or shut up, dance to others' tunes and, ultimately, waste your time, effort and energy. 

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Life

Situations wherein one connects with nature, (or good human interpretations of nature like music, stories or art), a human being or a paradox are perhaps the only times in which one feels truly alive and aware. Not when one accomplishes something for that ceases to matter after a while, not when one gets an idea for that may become obsolete or change and evolve, not even when one learns something for one may have to unlearn that under different circumstances.

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Social, Relationships, Mentoring

Advice is plain ice. Insight is choco-nut delight or fruit-n-nut delight (as you like it).
Plain ice is free and can be dunked into anything and everything. Water, juice, coffee, tea etc. It treats everything as equal. A customized ice cream on the other hand needs effort, knowledge and patience and is consumed with relish. It is lovingly garnished with nuts and delivered one spoon at a time. 

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Psychology, Human Behavior, Conditioning 

To have an open mind is akin to standing in front of fast approaching waves on the sea shore. You must be prepared to withstand the worst onslaught. It may touch your feet gently and go away. It may wet you just a little or a lot. It may overwhelm you, knock you down and fill your mouth with water that you are likely to spit out in an instant. The thing to note, however, is that the grains of sand that stick to you drop off as you walk back home.    

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Sharing

When you genuinely share what you know - not because you want to teach others, not because you want to influence or manipulate others, not because you want to be acknowledged or praised, and not because you want to receive something in return but because you simply want to express yourself and connect with another mind - you can't really fathom the impact it has on others and what you yourself end up learning and earning from it.

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God, Life

One of the most common situations that people (rationalists) use to question whether God exists is to point their finger at seemingly nice people suffering or dying either too early or in an unfair manner. It can't possibly be that simple if there is no such thing as "the single truth". They might as well be questioning our knowledge of the intricacies of Karma, the existence of free will and its consequences and the complex interdependence of society.

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Leadership, Psychology, Human Behavior

Two familiar but always interesting things that caught my attention in a recent movie I watched.
a. Even the most challenging of tasks that the people concerned are skeptical of will begin to look appealing and worthwhile when a leader uses the right words - cleverly connected and genuine words - to inspire and encourage them. Underlying this simple truth is the more complex fact that the leader must have an uncanny knack of customizing the message in order for it to speak to a specific person in a specific context. The more reusable the message, as it flows down the hierarchy, the better! ;-) And, in the real world, there will, of course, be people whose minds need to be pried open.  b. The human ego can sometimes expand to a size that is bigger than the galaxy we live in and when it crosses a certain circumference area, it ceases to look awful and starts looking hilarious  

Being Human

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming." - Anonymous > Think about it if you happen to be a leader, parent, teacher or mentor! 

Life is an Equation

I think at the bottom of every human action and reaction, there is an equation. The equation that he/she shares with someone or something. Catalysts may or may not be present. A person's behavior, ideas, capabilities and emotions are shaped by this equation. It does not mean that a person has no control over his life but his personality is likely to be shaped by these equations. 

When i first heard it, I was mesmerized by the quip that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it and I still am, but it is deceptive to think that the story of a person's life is based on his reactions alone. It is a sequence of equations. You never know what's going to happen at the end because one or more components of these equations are unknown. You are one part of a given equation and the presence of other entities in it changes the output of the equation and contributes to what you become. 

Victor Frankl was an amazing human being, but he would have probably never written his book or identified his immense strength if he hadn't been subjected to torture. 

Genius?

If you are creative, highly obsessed with ideas, prefer drowning in solitude with your unconventional dreams and have less than average social intelligence and are clumsy with your relationships (highly correlated in my opinion) then be prepared to fail, be misunderstood, be neglected, be harassed, fight crazy battles, justify and explain, suffer, and, generally speaking, pay the price for being a misfit. Ironically, a small section of the society is likely to refer to you as a genius when you are alive and - posthumously - everyone may refer to you as a genius. :-/ 

Tag: Famous and infamous personalities 

Voices

It's always a cacophony of voices
The voice looking for someone to blame
The voice lurking around for fame

The voice that loses the heart of the problem
The voice that focuses only on 'they' and 'them'
The voice that is obsessed with the cause
The voice that screams without a pause

The voice that brims with sympathy and sorrow 
The voice that is not itself but borrowed
The voice that calls for instant action
The voice that craves for a permanent solution

The voice that forgets the flaws of the soul within
The voice that just wants revenge for sin
The voice that is suppressed and silent
The voice that reacts to the herd and is compelled to vent

The voice that, despite the despair, wants to dominate
The voice that, meanwhile, meekly subscribes to fate
The voice that knows no reality
The voice that is recorded for posterity 

It's always a cacophony of voices
(Why not?) After all, it's a world full of choices

Hero Worship

Reading about Lance Armstrong reminds me of something that occurred to me in June....earlier this year (but I don't recall the context).

"When companies or people are almost worshiped, they either die trying to justify the reputation or resort to unbelievable tactics"

Hold On or Let Go?

Unintelligent & inconsiderate people (or communities or systems) who are associated with you can undo what you've done. It is bunkum to say everything is under your control. We live in an interdependent world & need to face the consequences of things we may not be responsible for. What matters is how you deal with your luck and get up every time you are knocked off, whilst understanding you may fall more frequently than you think (and accepting it). What ultimately matters is how long you are not willing to give up. What ultimately matters is how much of the fight is left within you and how much energy you can muster and re-build every time you fall or fail. 

When it is said that Life is not what happens to you but how you react to it, there is more to it than what meets the eye. It does not mean that you can still decide every single thing and get exactly what you want despite other external influences. It actually indicates that your life could be drastically different from what you intend it to be like and you better be prepared for it. You may not get what you want at times. You may have to change your plan and approach at times. You may have to adapt yourself to a new situation almost every time something external changes it. It may still mean lost opportunities. It may still mean a change of ideas. It may still mean a change of desires. 

There is a time when you can be obstinate and chase whatever you wanted to all your life, till you achieve it, despite a million set-backs and there are times when you must go with what emerges and be ready to change your own mind or desire. You must be in a position to decide what you cannot compromise on and what you will never ever give up on and what you will have to let go of in order to accommodate for the uncertainties of life.

Mobile-Mania

(C) Bill Watterson - Calvin and Hobbes

This...is exactly why it is dangerous to rely on mobile phones for building nascent relationships. The imagined accountability of the person being called tends to infinity. Even amongst well-established relationships, if the people involved are unreasonable, highly demanding, psychologically challenged (unable to understand others' priorities, pressures, preferences etc) or paranoid, it leads to more misunderstandings than it leads to the strengthening of bonds. Not to forget, the icing on the cake of confusion are network issues, incorrect service provider messages, the mysterious reachability question, audio break-downs, over-reliance on the tone of the voice and no visibility of expressions and gestures. Ha ha ha. Did someone say we are better connected after the mass adoption of mobile phones? Tsk. Tsk. :-)

Mark Twain

Source: Uploaded by user via Chris on Pinterest

Cafeteria Hilaria

I rush off the Cafeteria as usual so I can avoid all the queues at the counters and crowds at the table and be quickly done with my share of carbohydrates and vegetables. 

I find five men standing near the cash counter in a haphazard manner. Not knowing whether it is meant to be a queue or one person paying for the remaining four people (who probably want to give him moral support while he pays for everyone), I patiently wait at the periphery of the, err, unusually shaped human formation. 

Finally, after a lot of careful mental calculations by the cashier and the customer(s), they collect their coupons and make their way to the Food counter and are joined by two other people who just emerge from somewhere.

I get my coupon and join the Food queue. It seems like these men are new to the Cafeteria going by their somewhat lost expressions and funny behavior in the queue. It takes quite a while for them to get their plates filled and I continue to wait while I attempt to clean my plate which looks like it is nearing the end of its association with mortals. 

Meanwhile, to my utter joy, I discover that three of the men have come out of the queue with their plates filled. But they realize that they have forgotten the spoons and need to disrupt the queue in order to get them.

They approach the spoons with outstretched hands and I take a step backward, impulsively, to give them enough space (the spoons are on my right). As I take a step backward, I discover that I have stepped on something soft. The lady who was standing behind me did not apparently feel the need to stand more than a few inches away. Unable to bear the pain, she gestures with her hands and hits me in the process. I apologize, the last man who came to pick up the spoon apologizes and the lady pretends to be fine. 

Google Images

I move on to get some food whilst shaking my stupid head and notice that the last person in front of me is almost done. Suddenly he starts gesturing wildly with his hands, in my direction - I am saved only by a narrow distance. He has apparently paid for another new entrant and wants him to come over to the Food counter. This new bloke who enters the scene comes rushing and gets in between me and the guy at the front and stretches out in various directions to get a plate and a bowl and starts demanding that he be served some food. I am surprised that he never thought about all of us already waiting in the queue but I decide it is OK as he might get lost in the Cafeteria otherwise. 

While I wait again for my turn, this guy gets his rice and then realizes he does not have a spoon. He quickly looks around, sees my plate and spoons next to his and picks up one of my spoons. I stare at him open-mouthed and then loudly declare "That's my spoon!". He hesitantly puts it back while avoiding looking at me. After a few seconds, I start laughing and feel embarrassed at the same time. I continue laughing for a while and then realize I need to say something to make the guy feel better. "Sorry, I did not mean to scare you, but I was a bit shocked". To which he says "I am new to this place...." 

I laugh all the way to the table, all the way through lunch and all the way back to my desk. Here I am now, ready to face the rest of the day. 

Cloudy Thoughts

Three thought-related tidbits from my timeline


Methinks:


If you're ready to spread the most insecure, vague and ambiguous of your thoughts in front of someone without any fear of being judged, ridiculed or rejected, it is likely that this person will also bring the best out of you.


Some wise people pointed out to me that it could, however, cost the relationship in some cases - if the person listening is not ready to accept your thoughts or the fact that they came from you or if the relationship is still nascent for him/her to understand you fully. The second point made was that there may be a difference in the way the person listening reacts if he/she is a strong stakeholder and thus takes things personally or is afraid of being affected. 

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True in quite a lot of situations even though we may never agree:


Anthony De Mello - "People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head. It is actually done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it." 

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Sad but true:


Recently witnessed how a person with great intentions & high result-orientation can still commit blunders because of getting carried away


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Why Life can be hell

The biggest mistake by most human beings: 'Listening half, understanding quarter, telling double'. 


Hat-Tip: Pravs World

Observers Anonymous

People who tend to observe a lot, arguably, can't seem to help analyzing (sources being mostly limited to what they notice and what they immediately connect it with) and thereafter judging people and situations. Mostly a sad thing, methinks. Especially if they commit things to their long-term memory and never question their conclusions again. Scientific thinkers, in particular, may find it difficult to avoid applying this to the situations they are in. 

Independence

Great article on Daily OM -  http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2011/30292.html
Because an idea or way of doing things is popular doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone.

Just because an idea or way of doing things is popular doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. However, part of the way that something becomes popular is that many of us don’t take the time to determine what’s right for us; we simply do what most of the people we know are doing. In this way, our decisions about life are made by default, which means they aren’t what we call conscious decisions. There may be many other options available, but we don’t always take the time to explore them. This may be the result of feeling overwhelmed or pressured by family, peers, and humanity at large, to do things their way, the way things have always been done. Regardless of the cause, it is important that, as often as we can, we decide for ourselves what to do with our lives rather than just drift along on the current of popular opinion.

It is not always easy to make decisions that go against the grain. Many people feel threatened when those close to them make choices divergent from the ones they are making. Parents and grandparents may be confused and defensive when we choose to raise our children differently from the way they raised us. Friends may feel abandoned if we decide to change our habits or behavior. Meanwhile, on our side of the fence, it’s easy to feel frustrated and defensive when we feel unsupported and misunderstood simply because we are thinking for ourselves. It can be exhausting to have to explain and re-explain our points of view and our reasons.

This is where gentleness, openness, and tolerance come into play. It helps if we are calmly persistent, consistent, and clear as we communicate to those around us why we are making the choices we are making. At the same time, we have the right to say that we are tired of talking about it and simply need our choices to be respected. Our lives belong to us and so do our decisions. Those who truly love us will stand by us and support our choices, never mind what’s popular. 

The Relationship Dilemma

The Relationship Dilemma: You can run away from those who are almost always bad to others, you can hang on to those who are almost always good to others but you are perplexed when you have to deal with those who are sometimes good and sometimes bad - which explains why most of the world is perplexed most of the time. ;-)

Lucky?

Why you should not assume someone is lucky or declare to someone he is lucky!


1) Luck is, most of the time, a consequence of hard work and effort or a good/thoughtful decision and the person hearing it is not going to like it if the situation he is in is attributed to just coincidence (which is what luck mostly means)


2) Calling someone lucky typically, err, hints at jealousy (even if just a little) whether we like it or not. Or like one of my friends said, it means you probably don't deserve what you got!

3) You may be commenting on one particular aspect of his life but there may be a lot of other problems in his life that may not even be compensated for by this apparent "stroke of luck"


4) There are so many better ways of responding when someone is going through a nice phase or a good thing has happened to them - You can say "That is great!", "This is cool!", "Happy for you!" or even "You are blessed" etc but of course you must mean it. ;-)