C&H

My friend sent me a collection of C&H quotes. Enjoy! :) (My favourites in bold)

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* I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!

* History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.

* I think life should be more like tv. I think all of life's problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don't you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothing, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don't you think? Then again, if real life was like that, what would we watch on television?

* People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

* Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

* Everybody seeks happiness! Not me, though! That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

* Hobbes: "How come we play war and not peace?"
Calvin: "Too few role models."

* But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!

* Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.

* I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.

* My brain always rejects attitude transplants.

* The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!

* You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well, mine are even worse!

* You know how people are. They only recognize greatness when some authority confirms it.

* Susie: The way Calvin's brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

* Susie: Our class voted Calvin the "Most likely to be seen on the news some day".

* Calvin: "They say that all the world's a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is adlibbing his lines."
Hobbes: "Maybe that's why it's so hard to tell if we're living in a tragedy or a farce."
Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.