Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Honestly....

I can't tolerate manipulation. I can't tolerate manipulative people. Even if it is for a good cause that the manipulation is being resorted to. Something tells me it will simply not work in the long run...in fact, it is bound to backfire. It cuts off human bonds. I like straightforward inspiration and openness. I like honesty. I like people who speak their heart even if it is a frightful thing to do for them. The only exceptions being situations wherein you don't want to unnecessarily hurt someone who doesn't deserve to be. But most people today seem to think that being ruthlessly honest and straightforward is a drawback - in the corporate world, if not in one's personal life. People seem to tend to think it is a disability that the world will take undue advantage of.

Both fiction and world history give us stories of heroes who were manipulatively clever with their enemies and of heroes who were honest, upright, simple and straight. The honest hero can sleep peacefully and does not have to worry about getting entangled in the threads of manipulation that are likely to form a web of distrust, confusion and falsehood. We have enough and more confusion in the world already! Why not make things easy and simple for ourselves? If the cause that we are fighting for is genuine and really worth it, being honest ought to yield positive results...tomorrow, if not today. Being honest will result in people trusting you throughout. Being manipulative will sow seeds of doubt in the minds of people you deal with (sooner or later) and make them suspect every move of yours. They begin to look for hidden agendas, blind spots and sudden curves. They become over-cautious thus spoiling the overall experience for everyone involved. Such situations do not bring forth genuine enthusiasm, trust and passion. Nothing great is ever achieved without an environment that makes everyone feel excited, enthusiastic, positive, trusting and passionate.

Say 'No' to manipulation. Go for honesty, transparency and simplicity. Please don't take the honest folks for granted. Instead, respect them for it. The world will be a simpler and happier place to live in! :-) Over and out.

14 comments:

Carnal Zen said...

When I was a kid, Dad drilled me on this one. The answer to any question - if he even smelled manipulation - was an unequivocable NO. If I asked straightforward without purring I love you's at him - I'd have a 50/50 shot at success.

Nimmy said...

Hahhaaaaaa.... :-D That's soooo cute!!! :) Hahahhaaa....!! I am sure your Dad's strategy worked wonders. Eh!?

Anonymous said...

Nimmy, to be honest, truthful and straight forward is an inefficient and ineffective way of using the powerful cerebral cortex. Evolution and Nature have evolved the human mind to a great height of thinking and deception / manipulation is indeed an art or science which can be practiced by a very few successfully. Nature is violent, take a look at whats happening in nature, survival of the fittest, they say male animals killing one another over land, mates. Females being choosy in mate selection so that they pass good genes to offsprings, and hence choose only the winners of the various contests. Thus extrapolating a bit, it is essential that highly successful human being is at the position only on account of using the cerebral cortex in a way that religious people wont approve of. As long there is a world with inequality, and clear distinction between have nots and haves, there will be folks trying to be political, manipulative, shrewed etc. It would not be economical to do other wise. I understand that we must not like manipulative people who do so for bad means, but must respect to a bit on people who use manipulation for good means.

Nimmy said...

Anon,
I appreciate your comments. And you've tried to put it across so polietly even though you don't agree with me! :-) That's amazing. And, hey, at the end of the day, you've been honest in expressing yourself! Boy! Don't I like that? ;-) heehhee. BTW, are you someone I know?

Here's my response to your comment now. Why do you believe that it is manipulation that makes good use of the brain? How about honest but creative thinking? How about inspiring communication that makes up for lack of manipulation? Our brains can be leveraged upon in so many other ways in life....manipulation is for the people who don't know how to approach something straight and have some hidden agenda, don't you think? Our brains can instead be engaged in discovery, innovation, celebration of diversity, action and the like. Why manipulation? Manipulation smacks of lack of trust - both ways. It is also, I believe, for people who are not sure of the worth of their own intentions and objectives. Manipulation is ok for experiments. But, I'd like to draw the line there.

I understand that we live in a harsh and cruel world that is full of selfish people....but manipulation will not make the situation any better! It only adds to the chaos! Consider the people who are trying to manipulate nature, for example. They fail, time and again. Being honest is bound to tie you up with the people who are really genuine and make life worth living! Life would be so simple and joyful if we have honest people around us. Do I sound like I don't belong to this world? Perhaps.... :) sigh..!

Anjali said...

Hidden agenda! this word has hit my ears twice this week and I shudder now. Why must we judge peoples intentions so harshly?

Nimmy said...

Angeli....Ummm....why must we? Some of us don't....till we burn our fingers and are taken aback...shocked! Some of us tar the entire world with the same brush....unfortunate! Doesn't make life happier for anyone. Past experiences, influences contribute...rightly or wrongly. The world is a complex place....and some people don't believe in making it simpler....! Blah...blah....and blah...! It's good to trust...but one also needs to know how to handle life when the trust is betrayed. What?

Anjali said...

You are right but I would begin with trust instead of being cynical. In corporate world personally I would always be cautious but in personal life it must begin with trust. I would never start with a huge burden of doubts. May be I am a die hard positive person.

Nimmy said...

Yeah for you! :) Agree that one must not start by being cynical....what I want to say perhaps is something on the lines of the word 'moderation'. Trust people, believe them, have faith in them...etc etc....but be strong if things turn out to be otherwise. BTW, I think we've somehow angled away from the topic!! :D...the topic was to convince people who tend to be manipulative to sort of play the game straight and have faith in the world!! :) Hee hee. And I tend to think that it is because of those few/some/many manipulative people that we tend to suspect almost everyone's intentions! Once bitten, twice shy...!

Deepti said...

Nimmy, we do think alike....

Nimmy said...

...I know...! B-)

Raj said...

Manipulative people unfortunately are a fact of life. We always have to be on our guard. But it sure can help if you have advance warning:
www.decisioncare.org

Nimmy said...

Hey Raj....thanks for leaving a comment...yeah...advance warning will surely help us be prepared and 'predict' some things perhaps!!

Someone who cares about common people said...

Not sure if i understood the purpose of this post exactly. But i would like to add something to this. I use to be very straight forward. Now i don't know whether it is good to be like this or not, still in confusion. I felt its good sometimes, and it hurts others sometimes, now question is do i need to manipulate if i feet it will hurt others.

Karthik

Nimmy said...

That's a million dollar question, Karthik. I guess most of the time we take decisions based on the situation, the people involved and the consequences that we believe may happen as a result of our decision. For some reason, irrespective of the consequences my conscience never lets me be anything but straightforward. Either stay silent or be diplomatic or say things as they are...is what my heart keeps telling me. I can't manage the consequences of being manipulative...it would drain me.